fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2790 ]

[ SECRET POST #2790 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2790 ⌋

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'strong'/masculine woman

not 100% omg my anecdote this single example disproves it, but in my experience really sporty or otherwise woman who are the dominant partner seem to date geeky men

what's the reason for that

I would say that people with "stronger" or more dominating personalities (whether men or women) often seek out a partner that acts as a balance -- a more flexible, introverted significant other.

Geeky men tend to be more introverted and so I think it's just about finding someone that's compatible.

I knew a couple like that as well. The girlfriend made the decisions and had her way. While her boyfriend, who was quite geeky, just oozed sweetness and comfort. It worked for them because otherwise they probably would have been fighting all the time.

I imagine the same is true for dominating men and introverted women.

That is really interesting, and I think you just described my last two relationships.

I basically tend to relationships with more introverted men, genuinely nice people who balance me. There is the added comlpcation of me not being the most stable of people (which is a tough combo when you do have a dominant personality, because sometimes I just need help with well, life, and it would be sort of discomcernting if I would have someome pulling for control in my weaker moments, if that makes sense). So I need somone who won´t go all protective alpha male if I hit aa low.

I don´t know but if that is a sterotype, I totally fall into it.

Wat. In my completely anecdotal experience it has been the exact opposite: geeky dudes seek geeky but very feminine women, buff sporty women are sought after by buff sporty dudes for the most part.

Source: my circle of geeky male friends has exclusively dated/married women who love video games and whatnot but also knitting and makeup, hate sports, and would collapse if they had to huff it up a particularly long flight of stairs.

Whereas as a geek but fitizen with more stereotypically masculine interests, while I've had interest from a few of them, the overwhelming majority of male interest in me has been from other fitizens, military dudes, bros, etc. I haven't dated a guy who didn't have a six pack in years.

well, there's probably an element of perceived attractiveness and mutual interest going on there as well, isn't there?

Sure, but I actually am quite attracted to less fit geek dudes, myself. The interest just isn't mutual, usually. And not to stereotype, but the fit men who are very interested rarely break the triple-digit threshold in terms of IQ, which isn't as satisfying as it could be.

It's become something of a running gag with my friends (one got a kitten that was sickeningly adorable but kept bashing its head into things, and my friend joked "look, it's one of Ari's boyfriends" lol) but honestly this is probably more than 50% who's attracted to me rather than who I'm attracted to. I've thought plenty of geek dudes were super cute.

Erm, sorry, think I might have been a bit confusing there - "perceived" was meant to be modifying both attractiveness and mutual interest. That people make assumptions about mutual interest based on perceived attractiveness, that... well, to put it bluntly, the idea was that less fit geeky dudes might be less likely to conceive of you being interested in them or to pick up on any signs of attraction that are there. I think the way that we think about these things even on a very subconscious level can affect this sort of thing. And not just in terms of attractiveness, either, but in terms of perceived interests and lifestyle. I mean, in one of the posts ITT you have someone saying exactly that.

Of course, if that really doesn't tally with your experience, that's the way it is. It was just a thought.

I'm confused, are you asking geeky guys if they like strong women, or asking strong women if they like geeky guys?

The reason is because geeky men have chased off everyone who actually shares their interests for being "fake geek girls."

That was my semi-facetious answer. The real answer is, I don't really know where you're getting this from but I wouldn't be surprised if this was a thing at least in some places. Some couples I know fit this, as well. It's probably just down to personality types.

Nah. My brother's the atheltic, into sports type of guy and he's only ever been interested in/dated women with similar interests.

A lot of what's already been said does seems to be an element of it (introversion countered by extroversion).

But I imagine there's a whole host of other factors, like having obsessive personalities, and defying more standard gender presentation and interests. And there's got to be an element of either conscious or subconscious rejection from geeky guys by 'popular' girls who meet societies ideal.

Anecdotally tho, my only two relationships with women of any length, was with women who had the dedication to their chosen sport to go pro, but didn't.

Most of the geeky guys I know like strong, dominant geeky women.

Except for the geeky guys I know who like passive, quiet non-geeky women.

None of the geeky guys I know like sporty women, unless they're sporty themselves.

I don't think you can generalize entirely, although I do see a pattern.

I've never noticed that in my experience. I've seen athletic/athletic and athletic guy/chubby woman, but not so much athletic girl/geeky guy.

But really, of the relationships of my family and friends that I've been able to observe up close, the deciding factor has seemed to be personalities: in all the successful (as in long term and ostensibly happy) relationships the pair seems to either have similar temperaments (e.g. laidback or high stress) but opposing ways of socialising (e.g. one's an introvert and the other's an extrovert). Just my 2 cents.

I guess it varies a lot but in my experience, I see strong, athletic women date men who are likewise strong and athletic (I assume a big part of it is that they want a partner who is as physically active as they are because it's a significant part of their life).

Seems to depend. My nephew is a huge geek and he prefers that twee, girlish type. Most definitely not tough girls.

nope i can confirm geek lesbians like that too

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[ SECRET POST #2790 ]

do only geek guys like

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