Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2014-08-25 06:36 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2014-08-25 06:36 pm
[ SECRET POST #2792 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2792 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 047 secrets from Secret Submission Post #399.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
Motivation counts in these sorts of things, is what I'm saying. If you really can't stand be around people (and I generally can't - I'm a hermit and very happy not being around people), that's totally valid. But I'm doing that because I feel better with limited social contact - not because other people have failed me in some way.
I don't blame anyone for me not wanting to be around people. That's all me. The world didn't somehow fail me when it didn't provide me with my favorite fictional characters.
In other words: at some point, you either choose solitude because you like yourself, OR because you're licking your wounds. The OP is the latter.
no subject
I mean, as a general rule, I like solitude and being on my own. I'm pretty deeply introverted at times, and during my more extroverted moments, I don't like "connecting" to people so much as emotionally shallow interaction.
But that preference came from somewhere, and a lot of it was just due to the difficulty of being with others as a child - I had trouble getting along with kids my age or even kids a bit older (hell, I still do), and teenagers and adults obviously had no interest in hanging out with a child. On top of that, dur my middle teen years, due to logistics it was often difficult for me to see my friends outside of school. I was very much a social as a child, but by the time I was both old enough to be able to spend time with people I actually liked/felt comfortable with, and was able to "get there"/had the money and transportation to go see them, my preference for solitude was pretty much set in. I don't mind people, but can only handle them in small doses and otherwise I like to be on my own.
I think OP can be solitary just as a way of licking their wounds, but also because they prefer it. As some others have pointed out on here, even if the OP technically has options (which they may not have, anyway, going by the "limited funds" line), what if being solitary is still just preferable to those options? Sure, OP could lower their standards for partners...but what if, for them, being alone is better than being with someone who doesn't meet their original standards?
As you've mentioned elsewhere, yes, it sucks that OP is basically giving up on looking for someone. But subjecting yourself to an experience you don't want because everyone thinks you should sucks even more.
It seems more like a lesser of two evils situation, and in that context, OP has a point - why shouldn't they just be by themselves with fictional company, if it's not otherwise negatively affecting their health? What is so bad about it?
no subject
You are correct that it can be an either/and situation. Our life experiences do color our choices.
I suppose, technically, there is nothing wrong with it. Any harm they do will be specifically and solely to themselves, which is better than harming others.
It's just a shame to see someone give up on themselves.
no subject