fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2805 ]

[ SECRET POST #2805 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2805 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 054 secrets from Secret Submission Post #401.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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My little asshole cat is currently playing fetch with me. With a grape stem (his mortal enemy for reasons unknowable to mere men).

He also loves to eat fruit, particularly peaches and black plums.

He also hates bare feet and will attack them mercilessly.

My dove really likes pecking at my keyboard, despite the fact that I've never put food on it. I'm not sure if that's stupid, or her just being weird.

She has a lot of stories that the world needs to read.

Clearly, she does. I need to open up a Word document for her so she may grace us with her magical words.

Maybe because it smells like your hands?

...that makes a lot of sense, and I feel stupid for not thinking of it. :U

My stupid fucking cat will eat many inorganic items. His favorites are ribbon and plastic. Like plastic bags, especially slightly thick ones (less so the really thin grocery bags). You can't leave that shit lying around because he will punch a bunch of little holes in it with his teeth, then bite off and ingest several inches of the stuff.

Several years ago, my mom ordered me a shirt from Threadless for the holidays and it came in a thin plastic mailer envelope. She quickly stashed it before I saw it-- inside a tote bag that was inside an open box. On the floor. Then we went out and ran some errands, and she figured she'd move it when we got back. When she DID, she found that the stupid fucking cat had found it (in the bag. in the box.) and punched neat little holes through the package. And my shirt. So I got the damaged shirt and the story for Chanukah and it was another 3-4 months before Threadless reprinted the shirt in my size.

Good thing he's really fucking cute because he's kind of an idiot.

Apparently plastic contains an additive (some kind of surfactant) that some cats find addictive. So... it's probably not stupidity, just a jones lol.

I did hear once that some plastics contain gelatin, which makes pets think it smells like an animal product. We think he likes the texture most of all, hence his preference for the slightly thicker plastic with some resistance to it. This week he tried to eat styrofoam from the box our new microwave came in...

I'm just lucky he's never had an intestinal blockage or any other serious health problems. Cat's got a cast-iron stomach.

My stupid cat will try to break and eat Christmas ornaments. Glass ones. I don't even know with her.

we had this pair of ceramic flamingos

we've had like 10 different cats over the years who always managed to carefully step around them but we get this klutz in the house and what do you think the first thing he does is

do you know how stupid one ceramic flamingo looks

I don't. I have never owned a ceramic flamingo.

well it looks pretty darn stupid

My (fat) cat climbed under the sofa earlier where there was a two inch clearance. It was pretty incomprehensible. She had to flatten her fat against the ground and squeeze under, kicking her back paws to shove forward.

I'm surprised she managed. My room mate's obese cat had trouble jumping up on things that were too high and couldn't squeeze through doorways if they were too small.

I feel bad because she can't help it and it's just how she gets when she's happy, but my cat drools when she purrs. Excessively.

She also comes when I whistle for her, but that's more adorable than anything else (and useful, as someone who has owned too many cats who ignore me completely when I'm trying to find them)

She also comes when I whistle for her, but that's more adorable than anything else

Lol, my cat does this too! She was never trained or anything, I just whistled for the dog one day and she came running towards me. I think she just hates the sound of whistling though and comes over because she wants to get me to shut up

Both of you have some really awesome cats! I've never heard of one doing that.

lol my old cat used to do this. He was a sweet old boy, but the drooling...and the enthusiastic kneading... Oh man, it was hard to have him sit on your lap for too long.

When William kneads my chest it feels like getting a mammogram. For a little cat, he has a lot of upper body strength!

Re: Stupid shit your pets do

peablossom - 2014-09-08 12:41 (UTC) - Expand

My cat will come to a whistle too...usually. But if he thinks (usually correctly) that I'm trying to catch him for a trip to the vet, I can forget about it.

I'm actually proud of my cat's mousing prowess now, but when he was young I was sure he was going to be the world's worst mouser. He was great when he was just practicing on his catnip mice, but the first two times he actually cornered a real live mouse, I had to put the wretched creature out of its misery because he was so inept. Eventually he hit his stride and was laying out two mice a day (one year we had tons of them)...and then came the day when he ate his kill and ever so considerately left me the head.

He also thinks toes are prey, kicks half the litter out of his pan (and can't seem to stop until he's unburied what he had previously buried), can't see me eat yogurt without fighting me for it, and, when he was a kitten, used to hop up and pee in the sink.

My dog jumped out the window of my car, at 35mph, to meet a dog on the sidewalk. Miraculously, the road was clear, and he didn't break any bones; just got a scraped chin and one paw from it. We don't open the windows enough for more than his nose, anymore.

He also got skunked in the face three times in ten minutes.

He's not what most would call and "fast learner"...

My cat enjoys eating plastic (as I think someone else in the thread described). He'll chew off bits of grocery bags, or go for any other scraps of plastic he can dig up. His favorite things are maxi-pad wrappers.

He also has a strange relationship with his water bowl. I have a hypothesis that he doesn't like getting his nose wet. Instead of lowering his head to the bowl and lapping like a normal cat, he'll either (a) dip his paw into the bowl and lick the water from it, or (b) shove the bowl around until some water spills over the side, and then lap it off the floor. Makes it really annoying to walk through the kitchen while wearing socks.

He also can't quite work out how digging in the litter box works. He'll do his business, and then make the "digging" gesture... on the wall above the litter box, as though that's supposed to achieve anything.

My cat does the exact same thing in the litter pan!--but usually after scattering about a cupful of litter all over the bathroom floor.

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