fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2813 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2813 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Vocaloid]

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03.

[Homestuck]

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04.

[Luke Evans, Dracula Untold]

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05.

[Guardians of the Galaxy]

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06.

[John Green]

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07.

[Ace Attorney: The Adventures of Ryunosuke Naruhodou]

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08.

[Legend of Korra]

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09.

[Paul Hollywood of The Great British Bake-Off]

Notes:

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Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What really struck me was that we represent almost every possible way in which parents can abuse, neglect, or exploit their children. A sadistic parent who toyed with his children . . . An emotionally needy parent who stunted one of her sons and made him dependent on her . . . A cool, trendy parent who had a kid because all her friends were doing so, and essentially left the child to be raised by nannies and tutors . . . and that's not even half of them! To my knowledge, we haven't had anyone who financially exploited their child, and you have to go back four generations to find someone who impregnated his daughter, but there really are an amazing number of variations on the basic theme.

In addition, we have a significant history of alcoholism, mental illness, and alcoholism as self-medication for mental illness, plus a few folks who ruined their lives with harder drugs. In many causes, this was a factor in the abuse or neglect, ranging from apparent sociopathy to violent mood swings combined with memory loss. I only have a handful of relatives who weren't in some way impacted by this. (For instance, my father's mother was so needy that he escaped by joining the military and doing everything he could to become self-reliant, so he still has trouble telling people that he loves them or cares about them.)

Edited 2014-09-15 23:52 (UTC)

You are not alone. My family also has many of those things. VERY V.C Andrews (btw, that's a FANTASTIC term for it!) It's so bad that I've done a complete and permanent sever from most of my family.

What I wonder is how just one relatively small group of people can get SO fucked up. Like, what are the odds? Yeesh.

I think some of it comes in cycles. For instance, my aunt with violent mood swings and paranoia was raised by my sadistic grandfather, and my mother thinks some of her trust issues started in her upbringing.

Though that brings up another question, which my mother has never been able to answer: why did she turn out okay when her sister didn't?

Well, my family has the first cousins that married each other and divorced about a month later, my dad's father who ruthlessly abused his nine children emotionally (and possibly physically? he was dead before I was born, so I've never gotten the details), plus all the resultant abuse that comes from being raised that way sometimes. My father, for instance, is so determined that things will be "pleasant" (as opposed to what he grew up with) that he refuses to discuss anything emotional ever and shuts down any conversation that he decides is not "appropriate" (as in, makes him have a feeling, maybe? His criteria has never been clear to me). He copes with unwanted emotions by drinking until he doesn't feel them anymore. I cannot recall him ever displaying emotion openly except when he got so drunk that he couldn't hold in his anger. He once told me that the answer to depression is to "stop thinking about depressing things".

And on my mother's side, oof. When my mom was 21, her father left their family for a woman a year younger than her (his OWN DAUGHTER). While that alone was scandalous at the time, it was eventually revealed that he had been sleeping with that girl since she was either 14 or 15. Their wedding invitations were out before his divorce from my grandmother was even finalized. He and his wife now live in florida with their daughter who is a couple of years younger than me. I have met the man once, when I was about 14.

Also, my parents are also probably like 5th cousins, since both families have been in the area forever and there are quite a few shared last names among the earlier generations.

Probably doesn't compare to your experience, but I think every family has their skeletons in the closet.

Edited 2014-09-16 00:39 (UTC)

When my mom was 21, her father left their family for a woman a year younger than her...While that alone was scandalous at the time, it was eventually revealed that he had been sleeping with that girl since she was either 14 or 15

Holy shit on a blueberry biscuit. o____O

Yeah, apparently it was a ~different time~ or some shit like that, idk. My grandmother says the girl was a homewrecking gold-digger, since she knew that the man she was sleeping with was married. And my mother feels similarly, since by the time she met her they were both adults.

What I hear, though, is a story about a teenage girl who was taken advantage of by a smooth-talking manipulator of a man who in his late 40's, well over twice her age. From what I understand the man could "sell ice to an eskimo"; very charismatic, very charming. I'll never know all the details, but for me it paints an even more tragic picture than the one my mother and grandmother see. I understand that it's really hard to feel sorry for someone that, as they saw it, stole their husband and father; it's why they often gloss over the fact that the girl was so young when it started, which bothers me quite a bit. But he seems to have actually settled down with her; they've been married ever since, and he's certainly too old to be seducing any underage girls with his "charms" anymore, so I generally just keep my head down and hope no more skeletons are discovered once he actually dies.

to be clear, my reaction was mostly directed at the grandfather, not the lady.

and yeah, sounds like a mess that it's wise to stay clear of.

....................seconded. Whoa. Wtf.

[ SECRET POST #2813 ]

Re: The nuts in your family tree

Re: The nuts in your family tree

Re: The nuts in your family tree

eh

Re: eh

AN EPIC TALE THAT IS ACTUALLY PRETTY DEPRESSING

Re: AN EPIC TALE THAT IS ACTUALLY PRETTY DEPRESSING

Re: eh