Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2014-09-20 03:52 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2014-09-20 03:52 pm
[ SECRET POST #2818 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2818 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 063 secrets from Secret Submission Post #403.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: Am I an Asshole?
I'm pretty sure I did have depression, and anxiety, and very self-destructive tendencies (let's put that mildly). The thing is I sort of know the reasons for it, and they're sort of hard to explain to people, and the painful part is a lot of it could have been avoided.
In any case, I didn't have normal teens,I ended up not being in regular schooling, and went to college late (chronologically, I did lose 4 years between high school and graduating college - but if we're talking emotional development, were talking more years). In many ways it's like I looked in the mirror at 13, then sort of went into this haze, and woke up at 21 and just started to pretend I'm a semi-fuctional adult.
And I have no idea if ANY of that even makes sense.
Re: Am I an Asshole?
Come to think, my sister's experience is probably closer. She didn't have anyone outside of family, at all, and because I was meeting people online, Dad started in on the Evils of the Internet, because I moved away with people I met online to get away from the abuse. My life didn't turn out the way I expected (disability, age 18) but at least I was out of that hellhole. My sister is only now at age 24 starting to get the fuck out, taking college classes and looking for work.
Me, I was homeschooled, and I was expected from age 11 to basically be Second Mom to my sister because I was now old enough for Dad to leave the house (Mom was asleep) and for me to watch her... a highly autistic child that was a known firebug and destructo-matic. So, I had that, and Dad's abuse, and then at 16 went into college through state program that pays tuition for teens who pass a qualifying exam, which was really awesome in a way, because it got me the fuck out of the house (for one), and it was an experience that I'm very glad to have had. But, being also autistic, I was all over the place emotionally and mentally.
I was expected to be very mature in some ways but treated like an utter child in others, and there were things I should have been taught that I wasn't. So... yeah, all over the place. Not quite as bad as you had it, though, but enough that I can definitely sympathise. *hugs offered*
Re: Am I an Asshole?