case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2014-09-21 03:28 pm

[ SECRET POST #2819 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2819 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 054 secrets from Secret Submission Post #403.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I know she made you uncomfortable but it really doesn't sound like she meant to. It sounds like she was trying to be friendly and misunderstood your boundaries.
elaminator: (Hawaii 5-0 - Steve)

+1

[personal profile] elaminator 2014-09-21 08:48 pm (UTC)(link)
If you aren't a sexual person and it made you uncomfortable that's okay, but she probably didn't understand that. After you said, "No, I don't feel that way" she should've just dropped it, but you were both young and I think it would be good for you to forgive her and move on.

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 07:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I really hope this is a Power Rangers in Space secret. It was Andros, wasn't it anon?

(Anonymous) 2014-09-22 03:12 am (UTC)(link)
Andros had amazing hair, didn't he? So pretty...

(Anonymous) 2014-09-22 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
My first thought was that this was a PRiS secret, too.
logicbutton: Hawkeye from Fullmetal Alchemist with her hair down (Default)

[personal profile] logicbutton 2014-09-21 07:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Kids are assholes.

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 07:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Am I reading the secret wrong? Why was the friend an asshole?

(no subject)

[personal profile] logicbutton - 2014-09-21 19:51 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 08:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Your friend made a joke about you buying a matching bra to a Power Ranger (?) and it still bothers you to this day? Jeez.

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 08:05 pm (UTC)(link)
mte. This is a secret for a reason.
nanslice: ([tmnt 2012] ohoho really)

[personal profile] nanslice 2014-09-21 08:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I can understand being upset at the time buuut it might be time to let it go.

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Build a bridge and get over it
kallanda_lee: (Default)

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2014-09-21 08:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, she might not have meant badly - to her, crushes might be more sexual. I understand that maybe it took some of the "innocence" out of it for you, and that sucks, but it doesn't sound like malice.

Also it's sort of disconcerting you're saying you wouldn't want your crush to see your "ugly" body. I realize that, having a crush on a near-perfect character or celebrity can be daunting in the sense they almost super-humanly gorgeous.

But still, it's not really healthy to compare yourself to that, or see yourself that way. In the real (non-fandom) word, realistically crushes will see each other naked, and be happy about that even if they have non-perfect bodies.

[personal profile] solticisekf 2014-09-21 08:36 pm (UTC)(link)
This is so strage... Like you wear things for yourself for how it makes you feel, and not for other people. Also it's strange that they thought that OP'd even want to sleep with a celebrity crush. Sleeping with celebrities is not for everyone. Some even think it's dump. It's OOC for many people.
And no one is ugly. Honestly!

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 08:44 pm (UTC)(link)
But for most people, when they say "I have a crush on _______" they mean I find him/her sexually attractive (be it thru personality or looks).

And many (if not most) people wear clothes for other people. They want their clothes (and appearance in general) to give people they meet a general idea about them.

(no subject)

[personal profile] solticisekf - 2014-09-21 21:23 (UTC) - Expand

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[personal profile] diet_poison - 2014-09-22 03:36 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't be silly, some people *are* ugly. And it doesn't necessarily mean we hate ourselves, we just have eyes and mirrors.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-09-21 21:33 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2014-09-21 21:37 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 09:07 pm (UTC)(link)
It was a weird comment to make, but it probably says more about how your friend than it does about you. If you're ever in a situation like this again, something to remember is that quite often you have more control over how weird a thing gets than you think. Wrinkling your nose and laughing and saying, "Where the hell did that come from, you weirdo!" in an affectionate tone can diffuse a lot.

Don't let people see that you're rattled. For some people (like your friend) it simply makes them suspect they're right about you, or you wouldn't be unnerved by their remark.

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 09:46 pm (UTC)(link)
You should really Elsa this and just let it go, negl

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 10:13 pm (UTC)(link)
part of making conversation is making assumptions, she made a wrong one-move on.

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 10:30 pm (UTC)(link)
For some reason, this reminds me of an ex-friend who seemed convinced I was jealous of her huge boobs when I'm fairly flat-chested. Any attempt to convince her otherwise didn't work.

It's unfortunate, but sometimes friends just don't understand, or want to understand.
littlestbirds: (Default)

[personal profile] littlestbirds 2014-09-21 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
and this is why I never mention anything fannish to most people irl. This is like the cosmo magazine answer to your fancrush moment- she probably just doesn't get it and was trying to make it make sense for her. Many people just don't care about anything not immediate to their family-work-home life, like fictional people and worlds. Their incomprehension can feel belittling, but hopefully thinking about it some more will help you let it go!

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Your friend probably thought it was funny to upset you a bit, probably oblivious to the fact how much it does hurt your feelings. My friends used to do this to me (it was A LOT worse in terms of being PC, but my friends and I have a tendency to be rather non PC with each other anyway) and I understand it was all in good fun, but after awhile I just got tired of being the one being laughed at that it did begin to hurt my feelings that these certain jokes were the easy punchlines. I can understand how it made you feel uncomfortable.

Don't try to be too defensive if something like this comes up again. When you become defensive, your friend may see it as a signal to keep going. I've realized that people tend to not realize that not everyone is thick skinned nor that not every moment needs to be a "fun" opportunity at making our friends feel uncomfortable. Some people aren't good at being serious, so all they can do is try to make every situation light and funny when perhaps the person they are with aren't in the mood for "off color" jokes. Like, they don't get that some of us absorb this stuff. It's not easy to just shrug off that stuff. We're not always in the mood to giggle and joke around like that. When I'm feeling like shit, I'm not in the mood to be seen as a joke by my friends, does that make sense? They may not see it like that, and I need to be thoughtful that they are oblivious to it.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-09-22 02:00 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Voice of dissent here, but the fact your friend refused to believe you despite how much it seemed to obviously distress you? that makes them a bad friend, or at least a very goddamn selfish one.

(Anonymous) 2014-09-22 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
It sounds like she was trying to make a joke. Though if she pressed it after seeing you upset, that was shitty of her.

(Anonymous) 2014-09-22 06:10 am (UTC)(link)
I have an actor I really like, and I've seen a whooooooole bunch of his movies and own quite a few. Most of my friends assume it's because I find this actor sexually attractive. This is untrue; I actually just have this kind of platonic crush/intense like for him. I correct my friends if they make jokes about me thinking he's hot, but on the whole I just let it slide. What does it matter if my friends make a few jokes about me finding this actor sexy and watching all his movies because of that? It's fun and funny to play on that and I know it's out of affection anyway.

My point is, OP, is that maybe it isn't so terrible that this friend thought you had a romantic crush on this yellow colour guy. If they teased you about it meanly, then sure, that's not cool - but the assumption itself and some gentle ribbing isn't really out of the ordinary, if that's all it happened to be.

Also, the whole 'I don't want him to see my ugly body' thing - that seems like an issue you could work through.