fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2822 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2822 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Psycho-Pass]

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[LoadingReadyRun]

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[Ella Masar and Erin McLeod (NWSL)]

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[Hadaka Shitsuji]

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[Richard Armitage]

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[Arrow]

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[Stargate SG-1]

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[Outlander]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 027 secrets from Secret Submission Post #403.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If the man should decide whether or not he wants to be a parent before having sex, then so should the woman.

Sorry you're just using BS pro-life rhetoric here, and different measures for both people involved.

I agree with people who said that ideally you agree what you will do in case of a pregnancy before sex.
Still, people change their minds.

Yes, there is a third human involved (if carried to term), which is why the law makes sure that person is, on a very basic level, provided for.

But that's it. You can't legislate involvement, you can't legislate love.

You can't generally make someone who doesn't want to have kids want one. And, if the guy would just resent the kid for ruin his life it's better they're not in contact anyway.

But frankly, if your partner feels that way, I feel that as the female partner you should really consider abortion. I mean, yes, it's your choice, but that choice does not exist in a vacuum. I believe kids should be wanted (not tolerated) by both parents.

Sorry you're just using BS pro-life rhetoric here, and different measures for both people involved.

I quoted the part of your reply that I was referring to. You were just talking about the father, and so was I. You're using some kind of bullshit magical thinking to believe that a woman has the same option to just "walk away" as a man does.

A woman can have an abortion or give it up for adoption. She's not obligated to become a parent.

If you're talking psychologically: yes the decision is harder on her. But you're comparing apples to oranges.

If you're talking psychologically: yes the decision is harder on her.

For some women. Not all. I know more than one woman who has had an abortion, and for them there was no question or debate as to whether they should do it or not. They didn't want to be/weren't ready to be mothers, so taking that step was a given for them.

No, of course. I'm not saying it needs to be a traumatic event for everyone, or even a big deal.

This is why I hate this debate. The guy FUCKED someone, knowing full well his un-protected junk would lead to pregnancy. Yes, the woman shouldn't have had unprotected sex either, but she took a huge risk to give that guy the ~pleasure~ of not having a condom on. Yet she will: Have to raise a child alone, MAYBE will get child support depending on the state/laws, will have to pay for an abortion which isn't cheap at all, or spend nine months put out so she can give the baby up for adoption.

And what about the guy? He gets to skip off with his dick wagging between his legs like a dog to the next woman.

- condoms break
- birth control fails
- some women sadly lie about using birth control, or use it incorrectly

Between two people having sex, there should be trust. If a woman who is a permanent girlfriend/wife says she's on birth control, a man has reasonable cause to believe so. If it turns out she isn't, he has every right to refuse a parental role.

A woman has even more options of protecting herself against pregnancy than men - more so, she has a mouth, she can refuse sex without a condom (hell, I do - not that the bf would want to without, because we're both pretty dead set on the no babies thing).

What you're arguing is that biology isn't fair - well, it isn't. I don't like it either - but save for sterilizing everyone in puberty and making fertility opt-in, you're not going to change that.

That was me, got logged out for some reason.

But really, anon, you sound like you have a deep dislike for men, in general, and a very shewed view of sexual relationships in general.

Welp, you made a much more polite and well-reasoned response than I did, bravo.

Just wondering about the "a woman has more options about preventing pregnancy" bit, though. Yes, I think that if a woman agrees to unprotected sex, she is just as responsible if a pregnancy should occur as the man is. But you're not saying that women should be held more accountable because they have more options, are you?

Hi, thank you!

Not more accountable, but certainly not less so. My point is OP sort of presented women as passive creature who submit to sex, while in reality they are equal in the decision to have sex (and precautions to pregnancy).

Simply from a practical point of view, there are simply more birth control options to women. A man who does not want a vasectomy, really is down to just condoms. Women have several options there (and can choose to double up birth control, for example an IUD) - if used together with a condom, you're "double" safe so to speak, which is not something a man can enforce, but a woman certainly can do if she is really worried about pregnancy. If that makes sense.

Okay yeah, I agree that there ARE a bunch of options available for women and that they cannot claim to be less accountable (as OP does appear to present them). Yay, we agree! :)

I grew up around a lot of women who were single mothers because of lazy fuck and run guys, so maybe a little bit? I just can't stand how sex is always the woman' fault. Oh she tempted me with that dress! "Seduction" used to be an art! (Oh Republicans, you say the shittiest things) She was passed out but she kissed me beforehand so how is it rapeeeee!?.

If he was willing to stick his dick in unprotected, then he should have to pay for the human being he created. Yes, boohoo, I thought sex was just to make my penis feel good ;-;. Nooope.

Really sex shouldn't be about anyone's "fault" (unless, of course, it is rape but that's another story). Really, sex is just something people do and shouldn't be judged for. I believe better sex ed is already the solution to preventing at least half the accidental pregnancies.

And, I think in most places he WILL be paying, you just can't force him to be a dad.

Trust me, child support is extremely easy to avoid, especially if they just move out of state. :/

That'd be nice and all, but sexuality is still seen as 'taboo' for women. If a man fucks around, he's a stud, yeahhhh babbyyyy. If a woman has sex and gets pregnant, she's a filthy whore who should have kept her legs closed. That's why I just can't agree with the men can walk angle. They already DO most of the time.

Fuck's sake, she didn't HAVE to give the guy the ~pleasure~ of sticking his bare cock into her pussy. If she didn't get anything (any pleasure) out of it and grudgingly did it only to please him, but now she ~can't believe~ that somehow she ended up getting pregnant from it, then she's a dumbass who shouldn't be having sex anyway.

And if you want to play the "oh look, and the guy gets to skip off scotfree" card, then maybe she should've picked a better partner to risk having unprotected sex with in the first place, eh?? (NOTE: sarcasm. Obviously sometimes a guy doesn't show his true colors until it's too late)

Sort of related story, but I had a long term boyfriend cheat on me because he met a woman who was willing to give it up without a condom/fuck a guy she just met and I wasn't. (I don't have 600+ a year for BC at the moment) She got pregnant. He ran as fast as he could. I remember him just sitting on the couch saying to himself over and over "How could she have gotten pregnant?" He was twenty seven.

*facepalm* Ugh, what an idiot.

[ SECRET POST #2822 ]

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