fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2828 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2828 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Wakfu]

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03.

[rupaul's drag race]

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04.

[Law and Order: Criminal Intent]

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05.

[3-2-1 Contact: The Time Team]

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06.

[Anna Popplewell, Reign]

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07.

[The Strain]

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08.

[Justice League]

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09.

[Louisa May Alcott's Little Women]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 034 secrets from Secret Submission Post #404.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

When I grew up and also when I made my first experiences with the internet, it was really common to hear/see statements such as “Ignore the person acting up; they just want attention”, or “If I see you begging for reviews in the author’s notes, I’ll skip your fic; no exceptions” for example. Intentionally drawing attention to yourself was seen as a pretty big no-go.

So today when I see all these posts saying “It’s my birthday. You should all congratulate me” or people reblogging their own posts/selfies directly stating that they want more notes, that feels very strange to me. My knee-jerk reaction is to think “God, don’t be such an obvious attention whore.”

But then again there’s nothing wrong with wanting attention, right? It feels good to be acknowledged and if people have gotten more comfortable asking for that, more power to them, right?

What do you think, F!S?

I don't mind, because it's not like anyone is forcing me to give them attention.

This.

Exactly.

It's okay as long as you don't do it constantly. If I see 15 selfies of you in one day on FB, I am blocking you from me feed. Especially if you are making the same face in each one.

It's not what I'd choose to do (in a million years), but, you know, different people, different choices. I don't think it's intrinsically wrong.

I'd be less annoyed if someone said they were feeling really social right now/in general, so go ahead and message. Someone's birthday or good news or something, I don't care. If you just straight up say, "I want more notes/kudos/etc," I start getting judgey, because views in and of themselves are meaningless, so I don't get why people care so much.

"Read and review", etc, I think of as a reminder that comments actually exist. A lot of people read and don't review, and it sucks knowing people are reading without getting any actual response.

I think it's partly because Tumblr (it is tumblr you're talking about, right?) has a fairly young demographic and at that age, attention seeking behavior isn't seen as negatively as it is when people are older. It's fed by insecurity, and people tend to feed off one another in a sort of mutual ego stroking, so if we pretend that inundating everyone's dash with selfies is okay when other people do it, our own attention seeking behavior is justified.

Still can't stand it. I'm less likely to read a fic asking for kudos/reviews. In fact, earlier today I came across a fic with a note that said, "Today's my birthday so please leave kudos and comments." Just rubs me the wrong way. It's the same concept as notes that say, "this probably sucks lol" or "I'm bad at summaries but read anyway."

Can't speak to the Tumblr part of it.

People used to be pariahed for the kind of attitude the vainglorious attitude of kids these days.

Now it's the norm. I don't know what that says about how the internet has changed us, but I don't think it's good.

Interestingly enough, I was on FB this morning telling people to tell me I'm wonderful because I was feeling down. I had two people tell me I was pretty and one girl and I started an online rap battle.

I actually disagree that there's nothing wrong with wanting attention.

To a certain extent... yes, attention is nice. Nothing wrong with wanting credit for doing well at something or feeling good in a nice outfit.

But you shouldn't be RELIANT on other people's attention to validate your worth as a person. And I think the trouble is when people start NEEDING attention from others to feel okay about themselves.

I feel like it's important for people to build an internal, stable sense of self-worth and identity.

Exactly what I was trying to formulate in my head.

Yes. Exactly this.

Ehhhh, I think it can go either way.

On the one hand, I do like to be reminded when it's someone I know's birthday... because I'm horrible with remembering birthdays of anyone who isn't family (only a very, very small handful of exceptions, mostly long-time friends) and if I can find the time to do so, I'd like to draw them a picture as a gift.

Buuuuuut I don't like being reminded 5-10 times a week, in passive-aggressive-esque, vaguely guilt trippy ways.

Also, I find constant selfies and blatant note asking to be a little obnoxious, but I might just be getting old, since I don't get why people do that. At most, I know artists I follow sometimes will do 'daytime reblogs' of their art (myself included), but that's only because they sometimes post during the 'graveyard shift'... that I don't see as begging for likes/reblogs, tbh.

And yeah, I remember when people would get raked over the coals if they panhandled for reviews or even favorites/comments on DA. Boy, how times have changed...

I'm with the anti-attention-whore crowd. Paying attention to someone is not effortless or without cost. A little bit now and then is one thing--everyone needs that once in a while--but no one is entitled to demand that other people expend their time and personal energy on them whenever they feel like it. Some people don't have a lot to spare, and can easily get worn out when everyone around them is crying for it all the time.

Well, I do hope you never ask for anyone's attention then.

It's really just a way for people to elevate their self esteem. Personally I don't care for it and the people I know who do this are fairly selfish in person too.

I find it annoying.

[ SECRET POST #2828 ]

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