fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2835 ]

[ SECRET POST #2835 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2835 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 033 secrets from Secret Submission Post #405.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
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You sound like a pretentious asswipe. Yeah, some highly intelligent people have trouble interacting with/understanding people. Guess what? Not all of them do.

Do you even come here ever? making_excuses is one of the nicest users here.

I still find it amusing that this is what people think of me, it might be because most of the time I don't go to controversial discussions and comment.

This is also known as, thank you Anon you are quite sweet!

I can be, I didn't say that we have problems interacting with people I said we have problems understanding why people think and act the way they do.

And now I am going to be what you so nicely called a pretentious asswipe and say something not nice, which I know is not nice: In my world, most people are stupid, most people don't think as fast as I do, don't solve problems as fast and they can't see the connections I do. Which do set me apart from most people, which do make social interactions and understanding harder, not impossible and not something that wasn't possible for me to learn. I am not better than anyone else, I am not perfect or know more than everyone, but I sure as heck have more raw intelligence than most people I meet.

What you, and quite a few other people don't understand is that being smart and being highly intelligent is two completely different things and they don't tend to have a lot of things in common.

A lot of people have trouble understanding why people think and act the way they do. A lot of people don't. Social intelligence is quite detached from what people usually call just 'intelligence'. Some people have both. Some people have neither. Some people have just one of them. The assumption that people who have a shitton of 'raw intelligence' as you put it are somehow low on social intelligence, have trouble understanding other people and have to actively 'learn' normal social interactions, is in my experience just not true. As someone with several family members and friends who definitely fall into the 'highly intelligent and not just smart' category.

I'm not saying your personal experiences are untrue or invalid. I'm just saying generalizing from your personal experience to ALL people with extraordinarily high intelligence is bullshit and makes you sound pretentious because "ooooh, all us intelligent people are so fundamentally different from those not so smart people, way more different than other people are different from each other".

Okay let's rephrase this: I am talking about the top 1ish%, or 2ish% if I am gonna be generous people with an IQ over 145 in the first case, over 130 in the latter. Or to be precise 99.8% of the world has a lower IQ than me. I highly doubt you know a lot of people that intelligent, I am not saying it is impossible, I am saying it is unlikely, but as an avid fan of statistics it isn't impossible.

This is where I need my partner, because she would be able to translate me to something that would be easier understood: I will try one more time, then go the fuck to sleep as I should have done 2 hours ago:

I don't say people with high intelligence (IQ over 145) necessarily have low EQ, I am not saying we don't know how to interact, or be social. I am saying our brains are wired differently, enough so that you can MRI scan the brain of an Highly Intelligent person and see the difference between that brain and the brain of someone with average intelligence.

Intelligence at that level means that our brain makes more connections faster than a average brain, it means that the brain works faster and more effective than what most peoples brains do. Which does mean there is a lag between how fast I can solve a problem and how fast someone of average or even above average intelligence could do.

This sets me and the relatively small group of people with High Intelligence apart (which also translates to not always understanding how other people think and act, because you only have your own brain and experience to fall back on), what I am saying, and explaining isn't just my personal experience. It is the experience of everyone that I have seen write or talk about how it is to be in laymans term a genius. I have slightly more issues understanding how some people react to some things, but I am also hella good at understanding why and how groups of people work, both of these are examples of individual differences. The fact that I think differently than most people, but similarly as people just as intelligent as me on the other hand is not an individual experience.

And for your last part: I did not say (or at least intent to say) that we are more different than what anyone who shares the same IQ bracket is, I am saying we are different in the exact same way as everyone else is.

Since you say you need help translating, let me give you a tip: have this discussion without including yourself in the smart group, even if it's true. It just sounds arrogant, and is honestly a stupid thing to do on the internet. Facts from reputable studies or nothing.

I don't need help translating how to function in a social situation, I need help understanding why people act the way they act, two quite different things (I hope this misunderstanding stems from the fact that I don't explain things that well). I find this highly amusing, that is how it is off the internet too, anyway I am an adult, I make my own choices. And here is the thing, why is it arrogant to be born with an higher IQ? Shouldn't it also be considered arrogant when I say I live in Norway or any other thing that I can't control about my life? I actually knew what I did when I wrote the first comment, I knew people would react badly, but I still did it.

And okay, you want sources, let's see if I can dig some up:

Let us start here:
http://www.rochester.edu/news/show.php?id=6422 and the entire study: http://www.bcs.rochester.edu/people/Duje/papers/13_Melnick_IQ_CB.pdf

Which shows that the brains of Highly Intelligent people and those who are not are different.
Also: http://www.technologyreview.com/news/412678/brain-images-reveal-the-secret-to-higher-iq/
And a study done on children:
http://www.livescience.com/691-brains-smart-kids.html

That should cover that brains of Highly Intelligent people and those with average intelligence are different.

Then there is the other factors involved: Highly intelligent children develop a sense of right and wrong, fairness and so on at an earlier age than most kids do, which means it is harder for highly intelligent children to make playmates in their class, which again leads to social isolation, which also could lead to those children having to learn how to act around their peers at an older age than when most kids has to. There is a link between highly intelligent children and depression, which also makes puts you outside the box. And so on, and so on, the list of negative effects of High Intelligence is long and sad to read, but all the research I usually read on this subject is in Norwegian so I can't be arsed to google to find any reputable sources right now.

Huh. As someone with an IQ above 160, I've often had some issues relating to people. (Often when I was a kid I'd get frustrated that people were too slow or just not getting it. I've grown out of that as an adult, with more experience. Well, it still frustrates me, but I'm better at dealing with it generally.) I found all of that really interesting, so thank you.

Oh look I am not alone! I seriously thought that my argument only worked in Norway, honestly everything I have been talking about is taken out of research, well except the parts about personal experiences off course.

The dealing with it part does come a lot easier with years, but the frustration is still there, but at least now I understand why, so that makes it better?

I remember how happy my partner was when I could recall and discuss something she taught me a couple of weeks earlier, because she was so used to people around her forgetting most of what she taught them and then she met me and I could not only follow what she said, but expand on it and remember it. Which is also how I feel when I talk with her and do one of my weird jumps from topic to topic that for most makes no logical sense, but she can follow and understand what made me make that logical jump.

Nope! It works for me in the Northeast US too.

I think the understanding (which mostly just came with me getting older and more tolerant) helped. My sister still has nightmares (well, not literally, obviously) about me trying to help her with math when I was younger. I just couldn't understand why she couldn't get it, as it was so obvious! I'm a lot better at finding different ways to explain things now to people. (Although, as you say, it is nice when I am with someone where I don't have to come up with different ways to explain things. It is really rare, even living in a city with several universities in it.)

Good to know!

Yeah, experience helps. I have definitely gotten a lot better at mimicking other peoples thought processes and keeping it at a level most people can understand. (It really is, before you meet someone you don't know what you were missing. And yeah, smart people are common, Highly Intelligent people are not, and all my discussions on the subject would be easier if people got that there is a difference. Anyway the chance of meeting someone who is like you, but also share more than a number on a test with you is even harder. In Norway at least*, most highly intelligent people don't go to Universities, the ones of us that do have gotten so used to hiding in plain sight that you have to pretty much fall into realising that you are both "the same". You learn quickly that you can't say how intelligent you are, either people don't believe you, they think you are bragging or both.)

*There is no law or rule that says anyone above average have a right to any kind of extra help in education, only those below average has that right.

While theoretically there were programs where I went to school for the "gifted and talented", they really didn't do much. It was an extra seminar thing a week, but nothing in my normal classes. My early elementary years were awesome because I could read when I was three years old and the local public school said I wouldn't be allowed to read but would have to learn my ABCs with everyone else, so my parents found an amazing private school that let me learn at my own pace. And I got used to that. So when we moved and all I had was that extra seminar a week and everything else was me with "normal" kids I hated it. I used to pretend I was sick all of the time so I could stay home and read instead of going to school. When I got to seventh grade, it was better, because at least then we were divided into three levels, but the two years before that were hell. But try saying that to anyone and it just sounds like you are bragging about how much better you are than the others.

And I went to university, but I was rather screwed. Because up until then, I never had to do any work to do well. Even in my freshman year, I basically didn't attend any classes and just showed up for tests and I had a 3.77 GPA. Then all of a sudden I had to actually study. And do work. And because I'd never had to do it before, I was clueless how to go about doing it. And most of the time I ended up cramming the night before an exam and my IQ and memory pulled me through. But I retained nothing. And while I still ended up with a B average, it was not the greatest of experiences and I feel like I wasted the four years and all of the money. And then I did the same in grad school, writing papers and things the night before. (I wrote a 25 page research paper on an esoteric subject in less than a weekend.) But it still screwed me as far as learning things and I burned out from doing all of that too much and ended up dropping out of grad school. So now I'm in debt way over my head but without anything to show for it.

... sorry for the really long stream-of-consciousness tangent.

And, oh God, I never bring up how smart I am. I always downplay it and stay off to the side. At least as best I can. (We had a team building thing at work that had a group problem solving part. I got so fed up at the people who couldn't figure out how to do it that I snapped and just told everyone (including my boss) what to do. Oops?) I really do wish I could find more people like me. I don't need a ton. And I love my friends who don't think as I do. But just like one or two would be nice. Oh well.

And thank you for indulging me in this. It's nice to be able to whine about it, as I never get to do so.

I have an IQ of 160 and I'm exactly the same way. I'm terrible at trying to explain concepts to others because I just grasp them intuitively and I can't understand how or why other people have trouble understanding it when to me it's so straightforward.

I understand it now, but it was so frustrating to me growing up! I'm sorry you go through it as well.

I really hate this attitude. It's basically asking people to cover up the positive attributes of themselves so that insecure people won't feel bad.

This. Should naturally beautiful people cover their heads with bags too?

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[ SECRET POST #2835 ]

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