[ SECRET POST #2839 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2839 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 060 secrets from Secret Submission Post #406.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

op

[(Anonymous)]

why did I worded this secret that terribly?
I guess so, and I guess I can't do much more than to assure you I'm not feeling all high and might and I don't think that my problems are worse than anyone else's. Everyone has their own problems to deal with, I'm well aware of that.
I agree with things people had already commented my secret with: I'm aware that over worrying about fandom can be a way to cope with bigger things and, in all honestly, I can't be 100% sure that my friend isn't going through something big that I'm not aware of. But we have (had?) a good friendship, and I trust them to tell me things. Of course I'm only human and, while I try my best, I can't always be the perfect friend. But I try to be at least a decent friend.
If they have some other problems and they haven't told me, there's only so much I can do. I'm not a mind reader.
I wrote this secret in a moment of frustration, and for that I apologize. At this point I made clear -or at least, I hope I did?- to them that I don't know how to react about the way they approach fandom, and that I really can't approve of it. For how I see it, it's just watching a person I love going seriously overboard and letting a thing that should be for the most part fun and enjoyment becoming something that's mining their health.

Re: op

[(Anonymous)]

why are their problems troubling you so much? I freaking don't understand that...

Re: op

[(Anonymous)]

Uhm. Because they are my friends and I'd rather see them happy, not constantly anxious and losing sleep over fandom problems?

Re: op

[(Anonymous)]

That's not your call to make though.

As others have said, if that IS your friend's coping mechanism for the things going on in their lives -- and believe me, there are things going on in people's lives that they might not even want to burden those closest to them with. Hell, especially those closest to them -- then you're effectively denying them that outlet by making it clear you don't think it's 'healthy'.

Re: op

[diet_poison]

This feels an awful lot like some attitudes I've had from a few of my friends that just feel invasive and creepy. (Not just this comment, but the whole thing overall, too)

Re: op

[(Anonymous)]

That's because this whole thing is invasive and creepy.

OP is basically trying to control and police how their friend fandoms in a way that they can "approve" of.

And frankly, no, if someone who called themselves my friend "scoffed" at my emotional response to something, posted in a forum like this before even expressing their so-called concern, and the proceeded to tell me they didn't "approve" of the way I behaved in, lbr, circumstances that don't hurt anyone (for one, I really don't believe anyone literally loses sleep over fandom -- I think OP's missing the whole hyperbolic enthusiasm thing, personally, and doesn't enjoy interacting with someone who engages in it), then I wouldn't exactly be in the forgiving mood.

Re: op

[(Anonymous)]

I used to hav a friend like this. Used to. We're no longer friends, because of this attitude.

Re: op

[(Anonymous)]

for one, I really don't believe anyone literally loses sleep over fandom

I do. But I have an anxiety disorder.

I don't know if OP's friend has similar reactions to mine. But for me, if I was worked up about something, being told I shouldn't take it so seriously would be the opposite of helpful. I appreciate when my friends are willing to listen to me freaking out because it's something that's important to me, even if it isn't "objectively" important. And I try not to do that too often.

Re: op

[(Anonymous)]

Why do you need to "approve" of it? I'm not sure I'd like a friend who was going to be that judgemental about my emotional reactions, be it to fandom or anything else.