[ SECRET POST #2844 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2844 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #406.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[a_potato]

The trouble is that people tend to treat any acknowledgement of success or accomplishment as conceit, and social norms reinforce that. Notice, for example, how you latched onto the self-worth part of that statement rather than the self-deprecating part.

There are definitely people who are arrogant and conceited, but a person who thinks that s/he's good at something isn't necessarily that way. As I said, I am for balance in the sense of being realistic about one's abilities. The reason I have a problem with the self-worth vs. self-deprecation dichotomy is because there's this expectation that people will fall in the middle, and a lot of people don't.

[blitzwing]

+1

The reason I have a problem with the self-worth vs. self-deprecation dichotomy is because there's this expectation that people will fall in the middle, and a lot of people don't.

Law of odds says some people really are that good; someone has to be exceptionally skilled, but lord help you if you are and recognize that and say so.

[(Anonymous)]

The issue I have with this is why would you need the "say so" part? If you're good and acknowleged as such, why would you need to point it out? That for me is where the line gets crossed from being aware of your talent and basically rubbing other people's noses in it and then mysteriously being baffled as to why people don't especially enjoy that.

[blitzwing]

Because people talk about themselves, their lives, and their experiences? And if you're very good at something, and you're talking about yourself and those things, it may make sense and need to be stated in the context of what you're saying?

Why shouldn't people be able to talk about things they're exceptional at? Why should they have to keep some kind of code of silence and never acknowledge that hey, they're pretty great at something?

why would you need to point it out?

Why do people need to point out "I know this sucks" "I know this is really crappy" "I hate this" "I suck as an artist" to people? How is that any better than "I really love this" or "this shows that I'm moving into a higher skill level now" or "I'm actually starting to think I could make it as a pro artist now"?.

If people can bash on themselves and share self-doubt and self-loathing for no reason, why do they need a reason to be proud of themselves and share that pride?

[(Anonymous)]

Because it's human nature.

Sharing failure is a great leveller, thus promotes bonding with others. Everyone feels better when someone shares that hey, they're not so great at that thing either.

Exalting yourself alienates you. No one feels better when someone points out that they're better than you in some shape or form.

Whether either of those things is objectively true or not is irrelevant; the effect is has, placebo or otherwise, still holds out. And you're more than welcome to go against the grain with it, but you will be isolating yourself.

I don't generally like going around quoting The Big Bang Theory but:

Mary: I have been telling you since you were four years old, it's okay to be smarter than everybody else, but you can't go around pointing it out.
Sheldon: Why?
Mary: Because people don't like it!

[blitzwing]

Sharing failure is a great leveller, thus promotes bonding with others. Everyone feels better when someone shares that hey, they're not so great at that thing either.


Wow, you could not be more wrong, at least when it comes to art. Nothing makes you feel shittier than seeing someone who is loads more skilled than you, call their work (that makes your work look like a steaming pile of shit) garbage that they're unashamed of, that they know is shit, that it prove they're a crap artist, etc. It's like when a girl says "God I'm so fucking fat, I'm disgusting" right next to her friends that are 100lbs heavier.

Exalting yourself alienates you. No one feels better when someone points out that they're better than you in some shape or form.


Not really, no? Unless you're so deluded that you can't see that someone has a higher skill level than you, them talking about their skills isn't going to alienate you.

Mary: I have been telling you since you were four years old, it's okay to be smarter than everybody else, but you can't go around pointing it out.
Sheldon: Why?
Mary: Because people don't like it!

Not really relevant, because we're not talking about going around and telling people that they're not as good as them. No one disputes that Sheldon is smart, and if Sheldon said that he was smart, I doubt anyone would feel bad. Sheldon actively tells people that they are less smart than him.

I can say "I'm a talented writer" and that doesn't equal "Hey anon you're not as good a writer as I am" and only massive insecurity on your part would fill in a blank there with that conclusion.

[(Anonymous)]

If you're good at something, people tell you. You don't need to point it out.

Other than arrogance, insecurity and/or the need for approval or attention, why would you be the one telling them?

Pride in something doesn't require an announcement to the world at large. Pride in something just is. If you need someone to tell you "Yeah, you're right about that," then it's not pride, it's a complete lack.

[blitzwing]

If you're good at something, people tell you. You don't need to point it out.


Who's pointing it out?

Other than arrogance, insecurity and/or the need for approval or attention, why would you be the one telling them?

Gee, why *do* people talk to each other? I mean come on.


Pride in something doesn't require an announcement to the world at large. Pride in something just is. If you need someone to tell you "Yeah, you're right about that," then it's not pride, it's a complete lack.

You're either willfully misunderstanding what I'm talking about, or you're so messed up you can't tell talking about your skill in a non-negative way from bragging ("announcing your skill"). Neither option is attractive.