[ SECRET POST #2860 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2860 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 062 secrets from Secret Submission Post #409.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[a_potato]

...wow.

I hate to, uh, throw a wrench in the spokes of your comfort, but that's the exact attitude that one finds in purity-focused, fundamentalist religious circles. There are girls and boys who are actually raised with the notion that, if they have sex before marriage (or, in some cases, even have feelings for someone other than their future spouse before marriage), then they've been unfaithful.

It's really bizarre to me that there are people in fandom who think that way. I thought it was a bit more a fringe belief than that. :-/

[(Anonymous)]

Because people in fandom only come from proper progressive upbringings and been educated at approved liberal universities.

Newsflash: people in fandom come from all demographics and walks of life.

[a_potato]

Obviously. However, even in conservative circles, the idea that you can pre-emptively cheat on your future spouse by simply dating is not generally widespread.

[(Anonymous)]

Of course it's a fringe idea. But in case you haven't noticed, fandom is chock a block with fringe thinkers of all stripes.

[a_potato]

True. I just wouldn't expect to see people from these sorts of circles hanging around in fandom (and especially shippy corners of fandom), because that doesn't fit in with the sorts of activities that tend to be approved.

Not saying it can't happen (because clearly it can, or we wouldn't be having this conversation), or even that these sorts of ideas wouldn't spill over into less-fringey communities. It just strikes as being unusual, you know?

[(Anonymous)]

Not really. It's forbidden fruit. The temptation to look and be shocked by it is too great to ignore.

[a_potato]

That works if we're talking about adults who are out on their own. It doesn't work if we're talking about minors or adults who are living with their parents (because their internet use would be monitored). And in some cases, it doesn't work if we're talking about women (because...their internet use would be monitored).

Buuuut. Given the scandals that have cropped up in this subculture in the past year or so, I think there's definitely gotta be people who are venturing outside the sanctioned box. And there's got to be a degree of tension between "this is interesting" and "I believe that this is wrong," which would lead to some, uh, interesting takes on media (assuming they're consuming the media that we're assuming they're consuming).

[(Anonymous)]

+1

[diet_poison]

or, in some cases, even have feelings for someone other than their future spouse before marriage

How are people supposed to control that...?

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

This is hardcore fundie Christianity, my friend. Logic has no place here. Especially when it gets in the way of more potential sex-is-wrong shaming.

[a_potato]

Wellllllll. Here's the usual recipe, from what I've seen:

+interact with members of the opposite sex as little as possible (there is no room for same-sex attraction in this equation, because that's not godly)

+if you find yourself attracted to a member of the opposite sex...
-...and you're a girl, tell your father about it so that he can determine whether or not this boy might be a good match for you. If he determines that the boy is a good match, then he will approach the boy and the boy's parents. If not, then he will help you overcome your attraction
-...and you're a boy who isn't at the age of majority, tell your parents about it so that they can determine whether or not this girl might be a good match for you, etc. If you're at or over the age of majority, approach the girl's father and express your interest, so that he can decide whether you're a good match for her.

+once your parents approve a match for you, "court" that person with the intent to marry. It's really, really important that you marry this person, because otherwise, you may have given away a piece of your heart

[diet_poison]

eeesh. so when you say hardcore fundie, you mean like, QF brand of crazy.

o___O

[a_potato]

Yes. Ooooh yes.

There's more of them than you think (and they aren't even all QF)!

[diet_poison]

oh I know they're not, but QF is the only Official Word for those groups that I remember, and I know there are others who are similar.

I'd like to think they're at least relatively few and far-between. Maybe they'll eventually cease to exist if they run out of their own to marry...

[a_potato]

The trouble is that they're multiplying at an exponential rate. Because, you know...quiverfull. O.O

[diet_poison]

Yeah, but they'd have to be ok with re-marrying into the same bloodlines over and over again. Lots of offspring doesn't mean much if your gene pool essentially stays the same size.

(Also, I know some of them don't buy into the lifestyle and escape/leave. Dunno how many, though.)

[a_potato]

I was more being tongue-in-cheek with that statement, heh.

But yeah, there are people who wind up leaving when they grow up (seems like it's mostly women, which makes sense, given how they're viewed and treated within the community). There are forums and blogs out there to share stories and to give support to those who've left/are leaving. No clue what percentage of practitioners they actually represent, however.

[diet_poison]

sorry if I missed the tongue-in-cheek :P I must have gone all biology-geeky on the topic.

Reading those blogs (which I have done in the past) is both horrifying and fascinating. And in the end, I find the best way to have a positive takeaway from them is to be happy for the individuals who have escaped. I can think of one specific story of a woman who escaped from QF which was a very interesting read, and also a story of a man who escaped from a different cult - I think he was one of Fred Phelps' sons, and he got away from the WBO.

[(Anonymous)]

oh my fucking god
what year is this, 1714? because I could swear it was 2014 and that kind of thinking went the way of witch hunting.

[(Anonymous)]

In 1714 they at least had bundling.

[a_potato]

From what I know, I'm not sure they were doing this even in 1714. It's a really, really weird way of reading the Bible that seems to have started popping up in the '70s.

There are times when I seriously think that M. Night Shyamalan wrote "The Village" after encountering these types of people.

[replicantangel]

Yeah, I should have used "disheartened" rather than "startled", because honestly, I wasn't as surprised as I wish I could be. I live in the American South, so I'm well acquainted with these notions about purity. Perhaps it's wrong of me (judge not and all that), but I felt bad for the people sending me those puritanical reviews.

I will give credit where it's due - when the male character had a sexual relationship with someone other than the female lead, I got outraged reviews then too, lol.