[ SECRET POST #2862 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2862 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #409.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - random textless image ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[bribedwithbacon]

Yeah this. One of my friends was in a LTR for over five years. But he also started this relationship right out of high school and until he finished college. From who he was and what he wanted have changed throughout the beginning and end of this relationship. They both wanted to live in different locations, had different goals that they wanted to accomplish first, and because of this weren't really getting along anymore. It happens. It doesn't make them unfaithful. Life changes, people change. And sometimes they don't change in a way that allows them to be together happily.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt

And this friend may be a perfectly nice friend, but can you really not see that some people don't want that in the person they're hoping will be their life partner? Because to me, your description sounds like someone who will start thinking of getting out as soon as things become slightly difficult or uncomfortable.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[bribedwithbacon]

He is a nice person. So is his girlfriend. People are allowed to have their own preferences what ever they may be, but painting everyone who ends a LTR with such a broad brush is going to limit yourself and possibly even stop you from finding a great partner. You could see it as someone who gave up a relationship; but by that same logic, you could see someone ending very short term relationships as even less tolerant of committing when times get tough. You're going to be dealing with someone who ended a relationship either way, so it's a case by case thing of how able someone is to commit to you.

There is a difference between leaving when the honeymoon phase ends and leaving because your circumstances will sour the relationship with resentment if you stay. My friend didn't want to start a family right out of college; he wanted to establish his career in the film industry back in his hometown first. Then after a few years, maybe start a family (and that was a maybe because he's also thought about not wanting kids). His girlfriend wanted to stay in the state they went to college and wanted a family. It wasn't going to work, and they both are on better terms now because they ended the relationship. His ex is in a promising relationship with someone from the military who can provide her a family, and he is pursuing his film career. It didn't stop them from being able to commit, but over time they learned more about themselves and what they truly wanted out of life.

And again, people change over time. The same guy who might not want a family and will choose a career over a relationship might not feel the same way at 35 when he's well established financially. He might give up a job opportunity to make it work. Circumstances and timing can change entire relationship dynamics like that.