[ SECRET POST #2862 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2862 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #409.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - random textless image ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Sexuality labels

[(Anonymous)]

2


The way I see it, it's a spectrum that fits both people like me and you. Unfortunately, the connotations I have with asexuality is that it's less of a spectrum and more of a single experience. It's not true, and objectively I disagree with it, but I feel it's more appropriate to just say 'not interested'.

Yes...sorry if I worded that wrong. I meant I guess I theoretically am closer to the stereotype of what people think of asexuality as, but I agree that there should be room within the definition to fit more than just one very specific thing.

That's where you and I differ on the asexuality. I don't know what the future holds when it comes to my sexuality, so even though I'm almost 99% sure that right now I don't want anything to do with it, I'm not sure enough to knock it completely. On the other hand I do not think I'm capable of experiencing romantic attraction. Who knows, who knows.

I guess it's partly how you look at it, too. I mean, I say I feel pretty sure that I'm not going to change my mind, but the truth is I can't know with 100% certainty that I won't, so...who knows.

I'm not sure what you'd call my arrangement with this other person, but it works for us and for as long as neither of us consider it to be romantic, we won't be. A lot of it does just come down to you having the final say in your identities, I've found.

I think you're right, that it ultimately comes down to how you personally want to define it.

I do think I've been in love before, but I also noticed that when I got over a number of codependency issues I stopped feeling that way about anyone. So while I would never say that what I felt wasn't real, I don't think it was coming from a healthy place at all. Since I sorted myself out in that respect, I've never felt that way again. Take from that what you will.

I can definitely say that I've never been in love before, but I have had crushes on people. I guess for me the thing was whether or not I could fall in love with someone in the future, and right now I can't imagine it ever happening, but like I said, even if I feel like it won't I can't say for sure that it won't. I kind of wish it would because I hate the idea of being one of those people who's alone forever that everyone makes fun of (and yeah, a big part of this whole thing is that it really bothers me what other people think of me...I wish I could just be "normal" but that'll never happen).

I agree. When I did identify as bisexual, I felt like a fake. Even in areas separate from sexuality, I feel labels have only done me more harm than good. They can be useful, but there are connotations, and I feel that more often than not, when I give a label, I have to either clarify exactly what I mean by it, or I'm left with a feeling that I'm misleading people and giving the wrong impression.

Exactly. No label has ever seemed to fit, which is partly why it's so frustrating that it seems like there's all this pressure to pick one. Like you said, any one I used, I'd feel like I have to give an explanation or else I feel like I'm a fake or not being honest. I guess I need to just go with "not interested" and leave it at that. Anything else is too complicated.

(And finally, because I'm curious, where did you meet your asexual friend? I feel like it would be nice to have an asexual friend, someone who knows what it's like...all of my friends are obsessed with sex and it gets lonely sometimes. :( )

Re: Sexuality labels

[nayance]

All of this is basically why I hate people forcing labels on someone; there are a lot of connotations that come with certain labels, and what those connotations are differs from person to person. I think it's really shitty to try and force labels on people that don't want them, and I resent this idea that labels are always good, all the time, and that thinking otherwise is somehow bigoted or whatever.

As for my friend, we actually met online through this really small fandom. When we first met, he actually identified as pansexual, but then as time went on, realized that asexual might be a more fitting identity. It was pretty much mostly luck.