I really identify with this secret, even though they're not too boring in my own current small fandom.

I think it's the feeling of being stuck on a very small island. Like the OP says, you can't go elsewhere. It makes me feel antsy.

I do stupid things when I'm bored, and I hope the OP doesn't fall into that temptation. Stirring up shit is fun for a while, but can almost kill small fandoms in the sad aftermath. I have to keep resisting the temptation myself, and my own small fandom is quite entertaining.