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Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2014-11-08 03:35 pm

[ SECRET POST #2867 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2867 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 088 secrets from Secret Submission Post #410.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - random image ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
rubbertea: fanart of lester nygaard from the fargo tv show (Default)

[personal profile] rubbertea 2014-11-08 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
well, i can see why a depressed person would relate to him. i mean, we're talking about the guy who said:

"i desire to forget life. life is a hideous invention of somebody i don't know. it doesn't last, and it's good for nothing. you break your neck simply living."

(Anonymous) 2014-11-08 10:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Could be worse. You could be Javert. There are so many points, in the book particularly, where watching Javert think was like watching my own brain in a mirror and, well, look where that got him.

There's this bit at the end of the book, when Javert and Valjean are bringing Marius home from the barricade, and Javert has been visibly in a sort of fugue state ever since Valjean fell out of the sewer and back into his life barely hours after escaping him, and Javert stands at the door and tells the porter that they brought back a man's son, he's dead (while Valjean is shaking his head desperately in the background, because he told Javert that Marius wasn't dead but Javert isn't registering shit right now), and that there will be a funeral tomorrow, it will cause a commotion. Hugo says it, Javert's brain, on complete autopilot because he's not well right now, is basically pulling stuff out of mental drawers, and went from 'dead kid' to 'barricade' to 'funeral', because commotion/upheaval/carnival/funeral are in the same drawer in his head. It's just ... He's standing there, floundering and with no idea what he's doing because the world has been caving in on him, and is standing on someone's doorstep with what he apparently thinks is a body, and he's talking about funerals and street commotions because his brain is on autopilot and manually defaults onto the mechanics of policing to get him through the moment. He walks away from Valjean, and he goes to a station and writes out some last thoughts for the improvement of the police in light of his own emotional upheaval, and then he kills himself. You can actually feel, through his whole last moments, how there's this great big space in his head where nothing fits anymore and how he's desperately and mechanically and with an odd sort of grace trying to fill in old habits around it, and it's failing, and he knows it, and then he kills himself.

There have been bits of my life where that sequence, those last few hours of this fictional man, have had so much resonance for me. When something you thought was certain and immutable goes away, and there's this empty space left that your whole world/self collapses into, and you keep trying to shove the remnants of old habits and old skills into the breach, but it's not going to work, because the certain thing was too much of who you were and the stuff that's left isn't big enough on its own. When you know, you know, that it turns out you're too rigid and mechanical a personality to make this change.

And, I mean, apparently I'm actually a fair bit more durable and adaptable than Javert turned out to be, because I've actually survived that twice now, but still. Sometimes you see a thing in a character, sometimes a not-so-good thing, and it just ... you know it so well. You understand that thing so perfectly.

Though, for your sake, I hope you prove as much more durable than Grantaire as I proved more durable than Javert. The life, and most especially death, of a Victor Hugo character usually isn't something to look forward to.

(Anonymous) 2014-11-09 01:28 am (UTC)(link)
I am so sorry you've been through this, anon. Though I have to tell you, this is beautifully written.

And Javert is my favorite.

(Anonymous) 2014-11-08 11:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I have nothing to say other than that it's always nice to see George's face in an unexpected place. What a pretty man he is.

(Anonymous) 2014-11-09 10:04 am (UTC)(link)
*felicitous phrasing leading to very dirty thoughts indeed*

SO pretty.

(Anonymous) 2014-11-08 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
That's okay, I say I am Marius because it's easier than saying I'm withdrawn, socially incompetent, unemployable because I'd rather wander around being depressed than do my damn job, and obsessive about stupid shit.

We can be Les Mis characters together.

Comparing Ourselves to Literary Archetypes:

(Anonymous) 2014-11-09 12:41 am (UTC)(link)
I have a story that kind of relates to this. A while ago I was shitting around on tv tropes and I came across the article for Courtly Love. I wasn't particularly familiar with the concept because I've read very little literature from the time when it was most popular.

I had a bit of a "holy shit, I've experienced this" moment (but in a one sided form on my side) and have explicitly thought that even if the things that were in the way between me attempting to start a platonic relationship with this crush (the fact that they are twice my age, happily married with children and I see them as a parental figure) weren't actually an issue any more, I STILL wouldn't want to consummate it. At the very best, I'd just want to engage in a very cuddly and emotionally intimate platonic friendship with this person.

This probably isn't normal or healthy.

Re: Comparing Ourselves to Literary Archetypes:

(Anonymous) 2014-11-09 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
at first I thought you'd said Courtney Love and I was so confused

Re: Comparing Ourselves to Literary Archetypes:

(Anonymous) 2014-11-09 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
na

lmao, we were talking about courtly love in my british literature class a while back and for a few minutes I could've sworn that my professor was saying "Courtney Love" which confused the hell out of me (she has a strong english accent and for some reason her lilt on the word "courtly" sounded like "courtney" to me at first when I was only half paying attention).

(Anonymous) 2014-11-09 10:01 am (UTC)(link)
Ooh, it's gorgeous George. Hello, lovely.
arcadiaego: Grey, cartoon cat Pusheen being petted (Default)

[personal profile] arcadiaego 2014-11-09 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
I know this feeling. :/