fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2867 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2867 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

How are you supposed to do it if you're not the partying/overly sociable in general type?

Join a club. Try making small talk in your classes.

Study groups.

First off, fraternities and sororities are all about making friends, and some of them are very relaxed with little or no partying. Your college may even have professional interest fraternities, queer fraternities, etc. You don't need to be a party type or even much of a social type to get into these.

There, of course, regular ol' clubs, where you're guaranteed to have an interest in common with people there once you join.

Study groups are also a boon. In a given class, just ask around and form study groups - especially with people in majors or fields similar to yours, because then it's easier to keep in touch with them after a given class ends. You may also find that you actually share other classes with these people.

Also, try going to a party and seeing if there are any other wallflowers there. Chances are, they are just as awkward or anti-social as you are, and just as eager to make friends anyway. :)

Hope some of that helps. :)

Talk to strangers.

Take a short course, enrichment class, or exercise class. I go to a huge state school with lecture classes of 300+ students and a strong emphasis on engineering and agriculture, but there are still all kinds of opportunities to take short classes--everything from soapmaking and Photoshop to outdoor cooking, capoeira, and Argentine tango.

Get involved in a club or service project. Or politics.

Get a job. Find out about undergraduate research opportunities.

Does your dorm/residence hall have any kind of social setup or social events? That's a really good place to start.

Go to a club fair or look up club info, and go to clubs. Most clubs will be really happy to see new members or potential members (if they're not, probably not a great club). Clubs, along with attending a near-campus church for a couple of years, are how I made most of my friends in college. (And I never went to a "college party"-type party, at all.)

I made most of my friends through clubs or my smaller, more specialized classes (I took Asian history and had a lot of interesting people in there; I was in a film club and met lots of friends there too)

I made a lot of friends with my classmates in college just by commiserating. if you've got a pain in the ass essay, ask someone seated next to you about it, if you feel like you bombed the last quiz, talk to the person in front of you when it's over. nothing bonds people together like a common enemy.

It's really hard to maintain friendships in college. You meet a ton of people which is great! But then most of them fall out of sync with you, or don't answer your texts, or you decide you don't like them or you just go your separate ways. I only have a very tiny number of friendships that I've maintained since college. In fact, I've been seeing more of my high school friends now 10 years later than I ever have previously.

The best advice I can share is to try and make connections with people through clubs, classes and anything else really. In upper division, the classes get smaller and you get to know more people. Put yourself out there and if you get rejected, just move on. I'm not exactly a socialite either and I hate drinking and late night parties. But you do find people you share things in common with. Just try and be friendly with the people around you as much as possible.

Most of my friends are fellow art majors who spend a great deal of time in the studios. It helps that most of us have similar hobbies...it's almost like the internet came to life or something. :o

Become a drug dealer. If you have the best weed then you'll be popular without having to be sociable or partying.

[ SECRET POST #2867 ]

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