[ SECRET POST #2881 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2881 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #412.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

11. http://i.imgur.com/tYZk4z7.jpg?4

[dreemyweird]

I'm... pretty sure this is one of the healthiest and most harmless ways to deal with an unwanted crush, actually. You've nothing to judge yourself for, OP.

[philippos42]

I can see why you would feel it's unhealthy. You're keeping up your crush on, "person who looks like that," which is going to play with your interactions with RL crush.

I'm not sure there's much of a better way to deal with it, though.

After a while you may realize that RL crush isn't all that anyway.

OP:

[(Anonymous)]

They're a great person who I'd love to have as a mentor type figure in the future, it's just that these non-platonic feelings make me feel kind of anxious about/while interacting with them.

And they're pretty average looking (which I have thought to myself many times) but that seems to not get in the way of this weird ass crush situation.

[(Anonymous)]

I did the opposite. I used to know a guy who looked like the fanon version of Snape, only even more attractive. Big nose, straight curtains of dark hair (not greasy though), skinny. I stared at that guy every time I thought he wasn't looking, and drew pictures of him when I got home, trying to do it from memory.

Your way is much nicer. it sounds like a good idea, actually, if you know the RL guy is not available. Crushes are bizarre but most of them go away, eventually.

I can see why you'd feel it was unhealthy. To be honest, all unrequited crushes feel really intense and unhealthy, no matter how you handle them. They're a bit overpowering.

[(Anonymous)]

You really seem to have it together. :) Yeah, getting your emotional fix from a similar person isn't 100% perfect, but who is? You've made a decision to keep this crush within sensible bounds and have found a healthy way to do that. That shows some mental strength, and I hope your real-life crush does become a mentor to you someday.

That inspires me to get a personal story off my chest.

I had a crush on my college orchestra conductor. (So my dad is an orchestra conductor too. Shut up, Freud! >.>) It was a confused tangle of admiration, objectification, and desire to please. Seeing the conductor (decorously) kiss a female soloist's hand after she won the concerto competition, I resolved to win the next competition two years later.

That set off a year of practicing 20-24 hours a week, and though I didn't win the contest, I surprised all my music teachers with my improvement. Most of all, I found my own reasons to improve. My crush later faded into the background, and I became my conductor's loyal stage manager. I'm sure I weirded him out a few times during my immature phase, but now when I visit him he greets me with a warm hug.

Basically, if you manage your crushes without letting them master you, they may eventually transform into something even better. I wish you the best. :)