Case (
case) wrote in
fandomsecrets2014-11-23 03:21 pm
[ SECRET POST #2882 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2882 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 061 secrets from Secret Submission Post #412.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: Sort of inspired by number 1
(Anonymous) 2014-11-24 05:47 am (UTC)(link)I don't think relationships are necessarily "forever" things - if something changes drastically, to the point of hitting a known deal-breaker, then I think it's fair for either partner to leave. Sexual incompatibility is, IMO, just as much of a hurdle as one partner wanting kids and the other not wanting 'em - there's no real compromise, just one person being left unsatisfied, and it's a situation that could easily end a relationship.
Re: conversations - it's not that I don't want a conversation, it's that I don't want whining. If you're going to date me, you're going to know from the start that I move at a glacial pace and I have a very low sex drive. If you're OK with this, great! If you start pressuring me for sex b/c you're not getting enough from me, not so great! Again, it's the whining, wheedling, "you owe me" attitude I have an issue with. (For the record, as long as it's discussed beforehand, I'm OK with partners getting sex from elsewhere.) "We haven't done this in awhile" or "why not try this idea, we might like it" or conversations about desire and our relationship and how to maintain our connection - all these are very different from "I want sex and you won't give it to me."
And in my experience, dealing with someone with a higher sex drive has ALWAYS led to "why won't you give me more, I want it, you're being unfair, you need to do this." In the same way as someone who, for example, won't date someone who does all the annoying shit their ex did, I won't date people with higher sex drives. It's just something I don't want to put up with.