fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2885 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2885 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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02.

[Avengers]

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03.

[Terminator: Genisys]

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04.

[Red Dwarf]

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05.

[Gracepoint/Broadchurch]

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06.

[Doctor Who]

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07.

[All The President's Men]

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08.

[The Great Mouse Detective]

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09.

[Supernatural]

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[Transformers: Prime]

Notes:

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Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think I need reassurance on my decision to say No to a friend tonight.

I'm moving soon and she has been pressuring me to let her be my housemate. She's having a shit time of it, is lonely, depressed and we've been housemates before. Also her bf is leaving her for work for half a year etc.

So after a lot if tldr texts from her about how lonely she is I said maybe yes after we talk about it over a dinner. She's all texts about what a good friend I am (when two days ago the texts were all about what a shitty friend I was for never hanging out)

And I thought about it last night and have decided that no, she cannot live with me. It's a horrible idea and we will stop being friends.

So I've bumped it up to tonight, our catch up, to tell her that she cannot live with me.

And I hope she takes it well but I'm stressed as fuck that she'll be mean or try to argue over it. I really think if we live together our friendship will go out the window and we will both be miserable.

And honestly I have been hanging out with her less cause she keeps being so cruel.

Idk

Wish me luck FS :(

It's fully within your right to tell her that you can't live together.

I'm in a bit of the same situation myself, only with my sister, where everyone thinks we should live together as it will be cheaper for both of us. But it's really not worth the lower costs when I know that my sister and I can't live together and still remain civil with each other. We're just too different in too many aspects.

Some people just aren't meant to live together, that's just how it is. Stand your ground. Don't let her guilt you into living with you if you truly feel like it will make you miserable. It's not worth it.

(Also your friend seem sort of shitty from the little you've written here.)

To be perfectly honest, this doesn't sound like much of a friendship to me, so losing it doesn't sound that bad of a consequence. Imagine a world where you guys aren't friends and she doesn't contact you at all. Do you feel relieved at the prospect?

Be firm, anon. Don't offer any elaborate reasons why you can't live together for her to argue with. In fact, don't offer any reasons at all if you can. Just "No." and "I don't think it's a good idea." If you're feeling generous, allow her a few "But whyyyyyyyyyyys" and simply repeat your straight, "No. Can't live with you, sorry."

And then announce your decision is final and you don't want to talk about it anymore and then change the subject. If she won't give up and quit, leave the conversation. "Gotta go, talk to you again soon!"

Keep calm, don't raise your voice, and have all your responses be emotionally flat if you can. Don't let her provoke you. She'll try, but don't give in because if she gets into your house you'll be miserable and getting her out again will A MILLION TIMES MORE AWKWARD AND HORRIBLE.

Good luck.

Think of it this way: your friend doesn't HAVE to accept "no", but regardless of how she feels, this decision is completely up to you. She has no say in it, even if she throws a giant tantrum and screams about what a horrible person you are. Your "no" is the final word. She can like it or lump it.

If she does throw a tantrum, step back and look at her calmly without saying anything. Allow a little pity to creep into your eyes. When she's done, spread out your hands in a "look at you" gesture and say, "Why would I want to live with someone who deals with problems by yelling and insulting me?"

Then walk away and find new friends, because this girl's an asshat.

Sounds like a crappy friend. You're right not to let her live with you.

[ SECRET POST #2885 ]

Pushy friend won't accept "no"

Re: Pushy friend won't accept "no"

Re: Pushy friend won't accept "no"

Re: Pushy friend won't accept "no"

Re: Pushy friend won't accept "no"