[ SECRET POST #2895 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2895 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 062 secrets from Secret Submission Post #414.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think it's always the perfect solution, but the idea that it can't work at all seems a little absurd

[dreemyweird]

The OP kind of sounds like someone who doesn't believe in polyamory. Which, yes, strikes me as pretty absurd.

[a_potato]

I can kind of understand people who don't believe in polyamory, in the sense that, if one is the type of person who is strongly oriented toward monogamy, and for whom the thought of her/his partner being with another is overwhelmingly painful, then it can be difficult for her/him to conceive of it working. There's also a very strong social bias against non-monogamous relationships (it's something I had to fight against myself. My husband and I aren't jealous people at all, but part of the reason it took us years to open our relationship was because we had difficulty reconciling how we actually felt with how we thought we were supposed to feel).

That said, there's value in being able to step outside of oneself and recognize that what's right for one person isn't necessarily right for another. And...yeah, heh, it is pretty absurd to not believe in something simply because it wouldn't work for oneself.

[dreemyweird]

Yes, I do see where this is coming from emotionally. And I suppose I did take fandom for granted when writing that comment - the social environment I grew up in also treated polyamory as a ridiculous and awful idea (same for asexuality and aromanticism).

It's great that you and your husband managed to figure it out, too :)

[(Anonymous)]

DA

There's a distinct trend in some fandoms that OT3's will "fix" shipwars though (and that if you don't consider it as feasible for those characters them obvs you're just a hater who enjoys shipwars), so disliking the concept doesn't necessarily reflect on whether or not someone thinks polyamory can work IRL or not.

[dreemyweird]

This is fair enough, but "someone will always lose out"? It's like being irritated that fandom makes everyone gay and then saying that no one is ever gay.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Obviously I can't speak for OP's experiences, but when it came to my most recent fandom where the "OT3 fixes everything!" trope was used to an exhausting and vaguely condescending degree, it's mostly used by fans of one ship who want to appear more tolerant than others by incorporating the character they actually dislike into the work. Said character then will always end up losing out or getting the short end of the stick, fic-wise. It's basically still an OTP with Characters A + B with Character C as the +1 tacked on because they're so in-love with Character A and will put up with even sharing them with B (and in that respect, I'm not sure I'd even call them polyamorous fics in the first place).

So I can at least understand where OP's coming from if the trope's been used in that way in their fandom also.

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh yes. All of this. There's someone in my fandom who seems to think that just because she 'ships everything' that she's above all of the other fans. It really is condescending and annoying.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

...I am now feeling incredibly paranoid that people think I'm annoying because I have said that I ship (nearly) everything. :(

[(Anonymous)]

Me too, anon. It's so much fun that I think it must be annoying if you can't and are stuck with OTPs.

[(Anonymous)]

Yup yup. They are just annoyed because we are having so much fun when we SHIP ALL THE THINGS.

(Seriously, I know that it's not necessarily a realistic solution for all love triangles -- but it's fun.

Though I suspect that for some people, the shipping war IS the fun.)

[(Anonymous)]

Shipping wars aren't fun to me. However, shipping everything isn't fun to me, either. I don't bash other shippers, and I don't really care about my ships "winning" because it's all just fun and games, anyway. But multi-shipping just isn't my thing.

And you are basically displaying the attitude that makes people get annoyed with some multi-shippers.

[(Anonymous)]

What, that I multi-ship because it's fun?

Or that I dare to voice the opinion that some (not all) people are actually enjoying the ship-to-ship combat?

People are getting shirty because some multishippers feel superior for shipping everything rather than getting involved in massive ship wars, so all multishippers are horrible if we don't stop to assure everybody that of course, we acknowledge that your way of engaging in fandom is just as valid as ours.

I don't multiship to annoy people, but if people are going to be annoyed by it ... oh well.

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt

It's not really the "ship all the things!" part that's annoying, it's the condescending "I'm a multi-shipper therefore I'm above all you silly OTPers and your ships, and if you were all like me then you'd all get along like good little children!" attitude that's annoying.

If you're not doing the latter, then I don't think you have any reason whatsoever to be paranoid. And if by some odd chance you do, then... yeah. Please reconsider.

[mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com]

That set-up you describe is what I call a "triangle". Maybe it's not quite the sort of triangle where B and C are fighting over A, but if C is not in love with B as well, it's still a triangle.

I have actually read a fic like that, where two people agreed to share someone, but were not really with each other as well. It is the one love triangle I have ever liked. It depends on how antagonistic it is cast and how well they are shown to handle the sharing (I hate triangles because it's two people fighting over the one stuck in the middle).

[(Anonymous)]

This has mostly been my experience too, to be honest. Usually the scenario is character A and B are involved, but the writer really just wants character A and C to get together, but they either doesn't want to piss off the fans of A/B, especially if it's a popular ship or they want to prove they're not a hater or whatever the reason so they go the ot3 route with A/C being the real loves and B just tagging along and having to accept they'll never really compare to C, but if they want to be with B they have to accept their lot and basically accept the short-end of the romantic stick in some way. I actually kind of enjoy the idea of OT3s sometimes, but not when they follow that mould. Or if it's not this then the other common OT3 trope I've noticed is where X in the threesome is just used to facilitate the other two characters getting together in some way. They come off as more of a matchmaker than a genuine part of the OT3.