fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2906 ]

[ SECRET POST #2906 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2906 ⌋

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My sister 1 (and husband) and sister 2 (and husband/baby) are having dinner together and watching Guardians of the Galaxy. This pissed me off because I was not invited. Which, I can understand because I often don't want to do things with all of them together (they are LOUD). But sister 1 knows I have been very excited to see this movie.

Still, I'd only been a little aggravated EXCEPT one of them posted on FB "Chili, finishing the Christmas ornaments, and Guardians of the Galaxy with HUSBAND, SISTER, BABY, and OTHER HUSBAND. Wish ME was here too!" Sorry I didn't come to the thing I wasn't invited to. I only live 10 minutes away. And no, replying to my text of "So hungry!" with "Ya'll ain't doing dinner? We are eating chili. It's delicious. You should have come over." is not an inviatation. Especially considering you are already eating and I am already cooking.

It'll either come out now, or somewhere down the line when you're either inebriated or in the middle of a bigger fight.

It's a shitty thing to do, and when you explain it to them they'll either see that it's shitty or they won't. If they do see that it's shitty, hopefully you can avoid a repeat. If they don't see that it's shitty - their loss.

Is this a pattern of behaviour, or a one-off? If it's a one-off, then it's entirely possible that you fell victim to one of those stupid things where everyone thinks that someone else invited you and no one did or something. In which case, tell them they're idiots who owe you some chili and a movie.

If they do this kind of thing all the time, then corner whichever of the group you get on with the best away from the others and ask what the deal is. If it's just the three of you, the whole "two against one" is one of those things that tends to happen, and the other two might not realize they're doing it, or to what extent.

Is this a pattern of behaviour, or a one-off? If it's a one-off, then it's entirely possible that you fell victim to one of those stupid things where everyone thinks that someone else invited you and no one did or something. In which case, tell them they're idiots who owe you some chili and a movie.

That was my first thought, honestly, especially with that Facebook mention. Maybe an email or text never went through? I can't tell you how many times I've wondered why someone never responded, only to find the email or text chilling in drafts. :/

AYRT

I have one slightly scatterbrained sister who consistently forgets which of the rest of us she's talked to about certain things, so she'll think something's common knowledge when it's not.

Haha that sounds like my big sister. She is a bit flaky, whereas I'm flighty, and does things like the fb mention too, but I try to remember she isn't purposefully excluding me. Heck, it's hard enough to plan around my work schedule anyway that more often than not I only do things with them one at a time, not to mention inviting only one of them for something I know only 2/3 of us are interested in.

you are making way too big of a deal over this. I recommend getting over it and just moving on because nothing good can come from causing drama over such a minor incident

Just mention that it sounds like they had a fun time and you hope you can be part of it if they do it in the future. Other than that, I would just let it go. You don't want to cause family drama so close to the holidays, trust me

Are your siblings usually kind of thoughtless? Not necessarily in a malicious way, just in a slightly oblivious, self-centered way? My other thought was whether or not you were single. That doesn't make it right, but married couples do have this thing where they hang out with other couples and often their single friends get left out in the cold.

I don't think it would be out of line if you replied something like, "I would've liked to go, but I didn't know you guys were seeing GotG tonight." as long as you try your best not to sound pissy or passive aggressive.

It doesn't sound like they really wanted to exclude you? If so they'd have kept it quiet. At least that seems likely to me, IDK really. But I think you should talk to them about it.

If my sister did something like this, the text I would send if I only lived 10 minutes away is: 'Well, I can be there! Have you started the movie yet? If so pause it I'm coming over right now! Also leave me some chili!'

And if it was after the face, I would just straight out say 'That made me feel hurt and excluded. I don't know why you did that.' And listen to her response - there might have been a reason. She might have thought she invited you but the message didn't get through. Or she might have assumed you would be busy for some reason.

It really is better to be upfront about this, especially with family.

To be fair, your relationship with your family sounds very healthy and robust, or at least open.

If I said the second thing to my sister she'd stop speaking to me again for another three years.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2906 ]

What to do when family members "snub" you?

Tell them.

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Re: What to do when family members "snub" you?

Re: What to do when family members "snub" you?

Re: What to do when family members "snub" you?

Re: What to do when family members "snub" you?

Re: What to do when family members "snub" you?

Re: What to do when family members "snub" you?

Re: What to do when family members "snub" you?