[ SECRET POST #2906 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2906 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 021 secrets from Secret Submission Post #415.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: unpopular opinions

[lunabee34]

I know for me, after 14 years of marriage, 17 years together, the reasons I am not interested in an open marriage are numerous.

I don't have the energy for anyone else, really. It's all I can do to be there for my current family. I also don't want to let anyone else in. I don't want to be as honest with anyone as I've been with my husband. I would find that kind of emotionally vulnerability unacceptable at this point. I don't want to start over with anyone. I prefer the way my husband has nearly two decades of knowing me and there's no surprises and he almost always has me figured out and vice versa.

I am also extremely vanilla, so LOL

Re: unpopular opinions

[kallanda_lee]

Well, I am currently monogamous. Which mostly also falls under the "time & energy" argument, also the bf thinks it's more like to mess things up.

That being said, I LOVE starting over (not just romantically) and it's sort of sad to me how the older you are, the less fresh starts there are.
I sort of dislike I know most things about m bf, I wish there was more to discover, and I'm excited when I do still find something.

(Also, not exactly vanilla).

Re: unpopular opinions

[lunabee34]

All that makes sense to me even if I don't feel the same way.

I think some people crave predictability and some people crave the fresh start.

Even though I find my husband completely predictable, I do find that each stage of life brings new challenges and things to deal with so it's not like we're living in a rut or something.

Re: unpopular opinions

[kallanda_lee]

I think what you say is very true, and different people just have different "defaults". I think a large part of misunderstanding is assuming our own default goes for everyone. I think that's like the basic misunderstanding of people who ask my why I won't settle down. Well - because I don't feel it would make me happy. But they don't understand that.

Re: unpopular opinions

[lunabee34]

*nods nods*

I'm one of those people who tend to believe other people know what's best for them. I'm sorry you get flack for your decisions. :(

Re: unpopular opinions

[kallanda_lee]

It's not that bad, really. We're not even that nontraditional. The big thing we choose not to live together, which does throw some people off. Its funny, though, because it sort of peaked around 2-3 years of being together (are you moving in? do you want to get married? when are you having babies?) but it seems to have declined since then. I guess people just got bored because there's nothing to gossip about. Its just his mom that is still not happy with it.

Re: unpopular opinions

[lunabee34]

Gotcha.

I'm glad people have mostly stopped being pesty.

Re: unpopular opinions

[diet_poison]

I am very much like this. Though I've never been married. But I have been in a long-term relationship and when it ended, I still wasn't tired of it, wasn't bored of it, and had zero interest in seeing anyone else on the side. (It ended for other reasons; neither of us was cheating.) And I know I want to get married and have one life partner. That's just...what I want. I'm very monogamous. People are different and it's okay.

Re: unpopular opinions

[lunabee34]

I agree with you completely.

*hugs*