fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2915 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2915 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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11. [ SPOILERS for Korra ]

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13. [ SPOILERS for Ascension ]

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14. [ SPOILERS for OtGW ]

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15. [ WARNING for rape ]

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16. [ WARNING for rape ]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #416.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

All of this stuff in the end is just people feeling insecure about what they like and do and getting defensive because of it. Everybody wants to feel like they're "right," because being wrong is "bad" and makes you feel small. And when someone doesn't like what you like, you have this moment where you think, "oh shit, what if I'm wrong?" Some people move past that, but a lot of other people get caught up in it, because it's a short leap from "I'm wrong" to "my feelings are wrong" to "I have to let go of my feelings to be right," and it hurts to let go of feelings. It feels a lot like loss and grief. So suddenly, "I don't like the thing that you do" feels like a threat, because it feels like they're telling you that you have to let go of what you feel, which feels like they're telling you that you have to hurt, and before you know it, you're getting angry. They're the enemy, and you're thinking up reasons why they're the one who needs to let go of what they feel and they're the one who needs to hurt.

Truth is, though, there's no such thing as being "right" all of the time, and most of what we like and feel can't be expressed as "right" or "wrong." We spend so much time caring about something that doesn't even matter, and we think we're gonna reach some place where we're always "right," but we never, ever can.

Or then again, maybe it's not about the other person being the enemy or needing to hurt, but about them being in the wrong place and needing to go find other people who feel the same way instead, so that everybody can like or not like the thing in peace and harmony with those around them.

Well that's great, and it's what people should do, but this is about why people get so upset when they come across people who disagree with them and feel the need to fight over it.

nayrt

except you're ignoring an important part of it: some people cannot express their disagreement without either implying or straight-up declaring that the person who likes the thing they don't like is less intelligent, less ethical, and generally less worthy than they are. Announcing that you dislike something others enjoy is often used as a way of positioning yourself as a person of superior discernment, above the herd.

I'd say that people feel the need to announce disliking something and trying to place themselves above the heard is largely about needing to preemptively prove themselves right by declaring others to be wrong so they don't need to worry that they might be wrong. Seeing other people choosing differently or having different preferences can be threatening enough even if those people aren't saying anything about being right and other people being wrong. It's all the same thing, only some people lash out without real provocation and other people only react to the ones lashing out.

[ SECRET POST #2915 ]

Re: It isn't that important, get over it...

Re: It isn't that important, get over it...

Re: It isn't that important, get over it...

Re: It isn't that important, get over it...

Re: It isn't that important, get over it...