fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2915 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2915 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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11. [ SPOILERS for Korra ]

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13. [ SPOILERS for Ascension ]

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14. [ SPOILERS for OtGW ]

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15. [ WARNING for rape ]

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16. [ WARNING for rape ]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #416.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I guess I just don't share your fundamental mindset. I honestly don't care if someone forms a certain idea of me based on me being a gamer or not. If they decide that makes me ~weird~ and not worth getting to know, it's on them. That seems really shallow and pre-emptively judgey to me. So far, it's worked out for me just fine. For example: "If I have to work with someone 'professionally' (either a collaborative project or them grading my work), I would rather they not associate me with the people who got caught looking up video game porn on the school wi-fi or the people who can't remember to keep their damn voices - and obscenities - down when they're playing on their handhelds in the fucking cafeteria." Why would they associate you with those people if you're not the one who actually did it? I guess my question is, do you think people do that? Like, assume X person is like Y person because they share a hobby (and Y person did something annoying related to that hobby)?

I also tend to hang out with nerdy circles of people, and I tend to not give two fucks what others think of me, unless it's someone I already know.

I guess I also don't think "gamer" and think "ew basement neckbeard creep". And I dunno, do most people still think that? That image has been changing a lot, and gaming is becoming more and more part of mainstream pop culture. And at any rate, I've found that people from just about any hobby demographic can be racist, sexist, or otherwise awful; I'm not going to say "well s/he is a gamer so s/he is more likely to be a bigoted jerk". I guess I can understand avoiding people on statistical evidence for your own safety or emotional well-being, but not necessarily beyond that.

What games are you calling the "big" games? Are you talking about GTA and CoD? (Those are the two that make me think of the neckbeardy stereotype the most.) I'd argue that there are other franchises, even some Nintendo franchises, that are as big if not bigger than those. And I honestly don't know what the average "layberson" thinks are the biggest or most popular games. It'd be an interesting question.

Well, it's not about whether or not I think people do that - it's actually happened to me, before. I've had people legitimately surprised to see me talk extensively about something (i.e. class material) because they only times they'd ever seen me beforehand, it was with that 'geek group' on campus. I've also had at least one classmate admit that they'd been avoiding me (in my attempts to set up study groups) because they've seen me at that table with those people, and assumed I was "more of the same".

My overall nerdy circle, I loved to death, and as I was lucky to not have to worry too much what other people think of me, I stuck around - despite how often I was genuinely humiliated to be sitting at the same table as people who were shouting at each other indoors over a stupid card game, or looking up porny fanart on their laptops in public, or grappling for a handheld console or some kind. If we were somewhere on our own, I wouldn't give two shits, but we weren't, and eventually there comes a point where damn adults need to learn to not have certain things on a screen in public or how to keep their voices down indoors, and some people in the group just do not get the memo - despite how often the rest of us try to fill them in.

I've had people within the group repeatedly asking me to keep an eye on some of the unsavory types when they started going from obnoxiously dysfunctional to downright creepy. I've also heard the friends who were literally building careers on video games - aspiring industry journalists, voice actors, design artists - admit to avoiding this table or social group for similar reasons.

It's great that you don't jump to "ew basement neckbeard creep" when you hear "gamer"! But a lot of people do and that's the point I'm trying to make - these stereotypes exist, and that while they stem from a minority of gamers, these stereotypes are not unfounded. And yeah, GTA and CoD are some of the most well-known video games outside of gaming communities. I am well aware they are not what most gamers play, but not all non-gamers are. I've had friends complain about how, when they tell someone that they play video games, they are often asked something along the lines of "oh, like Call of Duty/Grand Theft Auto/World of Warcraft".

None of this is even slightly new. Cracked did an article on this years ago, and most of what they talked about then is still relevant now.

Quite frankly, I think OP probably has a pretty good reason for avoiding gamers, despite being a gamer themself. I don't know what that reason is, but based on my own experiences with real-life geek/fandom circles, I can make some pretty educated guesses and not blame them for their caution at all.

Hm, it kinda sounds like some of that stuff was unique to your circle. I've hung out with nerds who are really chill and don't do things like that.

I still think it comes down to a fundamental difference in overall outlook. I tend to have little patience for people who judge a group based on a minority so I just don't really much care if they think Bad Things of me based on a group I'm in. Not saying the way you do it is wrong; there are benefits and drawbacks to both outlooks.

The only exception is making professional connections, because that's the only situation I can think of where I care what people who are basically strangers think about me. Once I've worked with someone for a while I don't care if they know I'm a nerd - they've already formed their impression of me by then anyway.

As for OP, I don't really care if OP avoids gamers - I just don't think their basis for doing so is super strong. You say the stereotypes have merit, but you also say they're based on small minorities, and anyone who knows this and continues to avoid people based on that stereotype are either a) avoiding people based on a potentially dire outcome where it's simply not worth the risk or b) avoiding people for a "reason" that I frankly think is shallow and unfair. Not my business who OP or anyone else associates with, but that's my opinion on the whole thing.

As an addendum, I also think the neckbeard-gamer stereotype, while still present, is fading. Might still be very prevalent now (not sure, I never got that impression even before I started gaming a lot, but eh) but it is on the out.

I'm not sure how unique it is - as we've both experienced, the overwhelming vast majority of nerdy types aren't like that. But most people I've talked to (online and real life) who hang out with fellow nerdy types in real life also mentioned "a few bad eggs".

In my experience, it's more like option A - it's a small chance that you can really damage your perception in the eyes of people whose opinions you care about.

I think one of the big disconnects for us is that for myself - and many others - my social life and my professional life aren't isolated from each other. They interact heavily with each other, which means I have to make sure my overall reputation/perception is a good one, because I'm never quite sure when that will leak over into my professional life (or at least my version of professional life - for many people, it may just be social life, but that social life is critical to them in a way it may not be for everyone).

It is definitely fading. My own friends are a big part of that, as is the growing overall popularity of video games. It's just that right now, while it's fading, it's still highly prevalent. Video games aren't really seen as just the hobby that they are for most people - they still have certain stereotypes attached to them, namely neckbeard stereotypes or something "kids" do and grown adults shouldn't be doing. It's a very stupid assumption, but unfortunately some very stupidly assumptive people have significant influence on my life and it isn't always obvious who they will be, so I really have to be careful to make sure the first thing people learn about me isn't how much I love fandom. (Of course, once people get to know me, I'd love to reveal it, because I will at the very least break down stereotypes and if I'm lucky I'll find other nerds and have new friends.)

[ SECRET POST #2915 ]

Re: What kind of gamer?

Re: What kind of gamer?

Re: What kind of gamer?

Re: What kind of gamer?