fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2925 ]

[ SECRET POST #2925 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2925 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 046 secrets from Secret Submission Post #418.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Innocently browsing fanart on Tumblr. Ran into that fanon theory that Iron Bull is a rapist again :( I've unfollowed the person who brought it up, but man, it's so triggering for me. I had a huge panic attack that lasted an entire day the first time I saw it.

I get a resurgence of those feelings every time I see the damn thing, and it's becoming increasingly hard to ignore because it's really taken hold. I can't just blacklist a tag because it's usually posted without trigger warnings or [character] critical.

What do I do? It might be healthier to delete my Tumblr and stay away from the fandom, but I shouldn't have to. Being a sexual abuse survivor shouldn't mean I can't have fun with my favourite characters.

Not posting this on Tumblr even as a polite request for trigger warnings, for obvious reasons.

Unfollow the people who've been posting about it? Seriously, you dont' need to delete your whole tumblr just to get it off your dash. I've been following a few DA fans and I haven't seen them talking about it. And I'm sure there are DA bloggers who don't reblog ANY text stuff, too.

You could also try to tumblr savior "Iron Bull". That should block out any discussion of the character at all. You might miss out on non-triggering content that way, but better safe than sorry.

da

I haven't used it for a while, but IIRC there's both a blacklist and a whitelist for Tumblr Savior, so maybe OP could figure out a way to block certain combinations they don't want while still allowing some content through?

XKit also has the Mute (?) feature, that lets you block users' text posts -and thus any problematic opinions- while still allowing their image posts through, so that might be an option also, especially for general fandom/fyeah type blogs.

Ugh, that bites. I honestly wouldn't know what to do, except to totally clear my dash except of those who I KNOW won't post about stuff like that.

Coelasquid might suit your needs? But she blogs about a LOT of different things.

Thanks. You're a really neat person. I've been thinking how sweet and reasonable youa re whenever I've seen you chat with anyone, and it's nice to see that in internet land.

I'm unfollowing anyone who brings it up, obviously, but it's really harshing my fandom buzz. I thought I'd already cleared out my dash but it came up on a general "Love Dragon Age" blog.

I don't know why this, in particular, sets me off so badly. But it does. Thank you, anxiety.

Aw, thanks, Anon. I joined F!S because I'm trying to pull back from tumblr and recently quit one of my mainstay websites, so I needed to get myself a (digital) life. And I posted a few secrets here, way back in 2010, so I thought hey, why not come here now that Superwholock seems to have passed on?

I was always anon back then, but these days, I feel more comfortable non-anoning.

I don't think you have to fully delete your tumblr, but taking a break from the site and other places it's discussed would probably be a good idea, at least until the "hype" dies down. Even a few days might give you what you need to deal better. Sometimes, you just have to wait for the wave to pass, and hope the next wave is more your kind.

I hope this comes off as encouraging, and not assholish (because I totally get how it could!), but don't shut yourself off from your fandom. Don't let anxiety take away something you enjoy. Often, when I take a break from something stressing me out, I can deal with it a lot better the second time around. Of course, you know yourself better than I do, and all that.

*hugs*

It didn't come off as assholish at all. And thank you ♥

I think you're right. The reminder of that first panic attack is probably making me react to this stuff much worse than I normally would. Space might help with that. Plus, I have a billion million things I should be getting on with.

idk, if the mere sight of someone theorizing that a character you like is a rapist sends you into a day long panic attack, then it might be time to step back for the sake of your own health.

That is the joy of having triggers. Sometimes they come at you in creatively new and unexpected directions, just when you thought you finally had them under control.

I know you're probably not trying to be dismissive, but it's not the "mere sight" of the discussion. It's because as I said in my OP I'm a sexual abuse survivor. The idea that I might have liked someone who may be a rapist (no matter how bullshit the claims are) freaked me out. It took years to recover, and I occasionally have relapses.

Take a break from the fandom. People will probably find something new to shriek about in the next week or two, and it'll be safe to come back.

Thanks, anon. I will do.

Unfollow the people posting what you dislike and if it's a case of them being prolific in the tag you could try blacklisting their username so anything they post is hidden?

I don't think it warrants deleting your tumblr but perhaps a break is a good idea while people get the initial meta or whatever out of their systems.

If you want to keep participating in the fandom without dealing with tumblr being tumblr, I really recommend the community /r/dragonage on Reddit. It's really level-headed over there. We just had a huge post discussing the topic of unhealthy relationships in DA, this latest controversy about Iron Bull came up as part of it, and overwhelmingly people were in agreement that it was crap. And that post was one of maybe two or three I've seen in weeks where anybody was discussing it at all. The theory has zero traction there.

You shouldn't have to leave fandom everywhere online because of tumblr, though honestly after this shit, taking a break makes total sense to get the bad taste out of your mouth. I'm sorry assholes are hurting fandom for you.

Edited 2015-01-07 03:29 (UTC)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2925 ]

Re: Dragon Age Spoilers/Trigger Warnings (Rape mention)

Re: Dragon Age Spoilers/Trigger Warnings (Rape mention)

Re: Dragon Age Spoilers/Trigger Warnings (Rape mention)

Re: Dragon Age Spoilers/Trigger Warnings (Rape mention)

Re: Dragon Age Spoilers/Trigger Warnings (Rape mention)

Re: Dragon Age Spoilers/Trigger Warnings (Rape mention)

Re: Dragon Age Spoilers/Trigger Warnings (Rape mention)

Re: Dragon Age Spoilers/Trigger Warnings (Rape mention)

Re: Dragon Age Spoilers/Trigger Warnings (Rape mention)

Re: Dragon Age Spoilers/Trigger Warnings (Rape mention)

Re: Dragon Age Spoilers/Trigger Warnings (Rape mention)

Re: Dragon Age Spoilers/Trigger Warnings (Rape mention)

Re: Dragon Age Spoilers/Trigger Warnings (Rape mention)

Re: Dragon Age Spoilers/Trigger Warnings (Rape mention)