fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2936 ]

[ SECRET POST #2936 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2936 ⌋

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Because I was thinking after hearing someone use the: I have black friends exuse that I really don't have much friends outside of my own race. Before I went to university I had a few but for some reason most of us drifted appart. So I was wondering how common it is to only have friendsthe same race as you?

I'm white. I have many close Asian friends and a few close Hispanic friends, but no close black friends. The rest of my friends are white as far as I can think.

Yes. But I go to an extremely liberal school that attracts lots of different people in a very multi-ethnic city. So I have black, Asian, Hispanic, gay, and transgendered friends. And I also grew up in a different country from my birth one and went to an international school as a kid, so even friends from childhood are from different races.

Yep. Although I have waaaay less black friends than I strictly feel comfortable with. I do have a metric fucktonne of Asian friends and more than a few Native Canadian friends. A few generic brown friends, and one Mexican friend from high school who I still keep in contact with.

That's just how racial demographics work where I live; there are a billion Asians around, a bunch of white folks, some Indian people, and a fair share of Natives. And until recently like six black people and two Hispanic people lol.

Edited 2015-01-17 22:41 (UTC)

I don't have many at all, so no, but... not out of choice.

TBH I did have a friend in college who was black that I think I would've been closer with, but it was one of those things where we only had the same classes every so often and off-campus lived an hour apart (we were both commuters). However, I think had circumstances allowed we would've been friends?

In other words, it's not like I specifically seek out only white friends. It just kinda happened.

I'm not close friends with anyone offline, but my writing club has a bunch of people of various skin tones. I'm not sure what "race" most of them are (though the really hyperactive poet I always disagree with is probably black, given her amazing afro.)

No

Given that I have no friends at all, though, this isn't due out of any form of discrimination.

Re: Do you have friends of a different ethnicity then your own?

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-17 23:00 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Do you have friends of a different ethnicity then your own?

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-17 23:38 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Do you have friends of a different ethnicity then your own?

solticisekf - 2015-01-18 01:24 (UTC) - Expand

Well, my problems start from the fact that I have trouble determining my own race :D I'm quarter Asian, which seems to cause some people to consider themselves mixed race. But I just... IDK, I grew up not really thinking of it at all, and I never felt myself to be any different from my "white" friends. Especially since I look like Whitey McWhiterson.

But if I am mixed race, then I don't have a single friend of my ethnicity. Pretty much all my friends are white.

Yup. Not exactly a lot of them, but I don't have many close friends in general (never have), so it isn't a slight on anyone.

I have a lot of Hispanic friends, because there is a high Hispanic population where I live. The black population is fairly low; almost all my black friends are college friends, not hometown friends.

The other thing is that I went to Catholic school, so that tends to attract a predominantly white/Hispanic/Filipino student body. Obviously it's not a requirement to be Catholic to attend (I'm not; the guy I dated back then was Indian and Sikh), but that's the majority.

Like 10 of my friends are also Aboriginal. But other close and not close friends includes Americans, scottish, so many masos and greeks, chinese, a few koreans, a few black fellas, a few indians, I'm getting tired of going down the list of ppl in my head.

I think it depends a lot on the circles you are in - my workplace is incredibly diverse, as is my family and my city. It'd be incredibly difficult for me to not have friends of various ethnicities.

However if you only ever hang out with fellow X race, I can see why you'd only have them.

And the black friends excuse is piss poor, that person is an idiot.

I'm white, and I grew up and live in Whitey-Whiteville. So, no. Unless one of my internet friends whom I haven't met irl isn't white.

I did at school, though. Benefits of the linguistics program, is it was very well varied in backgrounds of all types. I just didn't stay in contact with any of them.

nah, i don't really have an excuse either besides not having too many friends in the first place

i've gotten along with a couple of people who aren't my race though, but we never hung out regularly so i don't count it

Re: Do you have friends of a different ethnicity then your own?

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-17 23:12 (UTC) - Expand

I don't think much about it, but yes actually. My best friends are respectively Spanish, Indian, and Chinese. (I'm white myself.)
I've grown up in a very ethnically diverse city though.

Currently? No. But I only have two friends so that's not really a surprise. I have quite a few friendly acquaintances of different races and ethnicities, though. 'Friends' just seems a bit presumptuous for work buddies.

Historically? Yeah, I've had quite a few, especially when I was in school.

hmmm... I'm white, but only two of my "close friends" are white, and one of them is from Russia so even though our skin is the same color we are ethnically very different. The others are Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese, and Mexican. (I don't have a ton of friends in general.)

Not counting online-only friendships, yeah, I have some. Living in a very segregated city doesn't help, but yeah.

On reflection, I'm pretty sure I have more trans friends than ethnic-minority friends, which is... mathematically embarrassing.

Yep. Growing up in international schools means you meet people from everywhere and the university I went to is pretty diverse. Although at the moment I hang out more with white people at school because my current program's year is overwhelmingly white and we don't have time to mingle with the rest of campus.

I only have one real friend and I'm white and he's black. Of the people I work with that I'm actually close to, it's an even split of white and black. Other racial groups aren't very common where I live, so that's that.

Several black friends (two of whom I went to school with, one of them is a rapper (go support him and buy his album!) through which I met my other black friends,) a few Hispanic friends, my best friend is half Puerto Rican (though the Brooklyn Italian half seems to be more prominent in his personality) and while I do have a half-Japanese friend we don't speak very much and she's become very distant.

I also have friends who are of extremely mixed race -- one is from South Africa, the other from India. And while I have an old classmate who was half-Indian I had to unfriend him FB because he kept spouting dumb anti-science anti-thought bullshit.

No, but that's mainly b/c I don't have many friends in the first place.

In school I was friends with a Cambodian girl briefly, but I drifted away from her and all my friends. For reference, my school was super-white. I think it's gotten a bit more diverse since I left, though.

Yes, but not a lot. Which is partly because Norway isn't really that filled with people not from Norway, the other part is just my entire class in Uni is from Norway. I think you can find maybe 3 people that wasn't born in Norway that I have shared a class with the last three years and of those maybe one isn't from The Baltics, so that is the other reason.

But the truth is that the people I know and spend time with are overwhelmingly 20th generation Norwegians, but not by any kind of deliberate choice, just happenstance.

I have a lot of friends that are different ethnicities than myself (I'm white). I live in a very diverse part of the US so I'm sure that has a lot to do with it.

Almost none of my friends in my life have been of the same race as me. I've had a lot of friendships in nearly every race except my own.

I'm Indian. I've had two* real Indian friends (that weren't just "friends of the family"/kids of my parents friends) - and neither of them were of the same kind of Indian as my family (Bengali), and for many Indians, that means they might as well have been another ethnicity, anyway.

The idea of only or even mostly having friends the same race as you seems kinda weird, to me. Weird and boring.

*shrugs*

* = tl;dr:

One, I was never very close to, but we got along and were kinda friends. I'm not even completely sure which kind of Indian she was, I just knew she wasn't Bengali and that while Hindi was her native language, I think she actually came from one of the states in India where it's not the dominant language/culture. She was generally interested in assimilating into American and Hispanic culture and even learning Spanish (already spoke English fluently, though with a heavy accent), which was great because her Hispanic best friend became a bit of an India-phile and was learning Hindi.

The other one...clung on WAY too tightly to the fact we were both of Indian descent (and I emphasize descent because her family, while technically Indian, were Muslim and tended to lean towards the Pakistani and Urdu sides of Indian culture than my own family's Bengali/Hindi side). She didn't know any other Indians, so she was always trying to play up our "Indian connection", and that made me try to distance myself from what little traces of my heritage I cared about, and did end up causing some minor tensions between us. (Not much - she had a lot of abuse, trauma, and other problems in her life, so I knew why she was clinging on to any connection she could form so tightly - but I did still have to to gently pry her off that connection, multiple times, and the one time we ever had something approaching a fight, it was because I got mad at her calling me "Hindustani", despite no cultural evidence of it from me and without asking me about it, first.)

Re: Do you have friends of a different ethnicity then your own?

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-18 11:40 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Do you have friends of a different ethnicity then your own?

nyxelestia - 2015-01-18 13:11 (UTC) - Expand

I'm white, live in a diverse area and went to a diverse college, so at least half my friends have always been different ethnicities than me. In high school and college definitely, most of my friends were not white.

After college, though, I came back home and all my friends went other places. The one friend I made since coming home happened to go to an apparently mostly white college, and all the friends I've made since then have been through her, from there. So now I'm a white person who still lives in a diverse area and has all white friends. It feels weird and kind of bad.