[ SECRET POST #2947 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2947 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Sorry, still at work again.

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 028 secrets from Secret Submission Post #421.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Online Dating?

[(Anonymous)]

I want to try dating online, but I don't know where to start or what websites aren't crawling with guys looking for quick hookups.

Any advice, FS?

Re: Online Dating?

[(Anonymous)]

There are no websites without guys (and women!) looking for hookups. You just have to pick one and keep sorting through the junk till you find a viable date. Sorry. :(

Re: Online Dating?

[othellia]

Okcupid is honestly not that bad. I've met some genuinely super nice guys on there. The stereotype is that the majority of dudes on dating websites are looking for quick hookups, but more often than not I've been the pushing for an in-person meet-up, even on supposedly "hook up" apps like Tinder.

Because personalities are great but I never know whether I'm attracted to a person or not until I see them face-to-face. There are some guys who want to keep talking and talking, moving from text convos to phone convos - although I always refuse to give my number until after the first date - to person convos, and then act like I've been the one stringing them along when it finally turns out I'm not interested.

Just delete/ignore the messages that are super spammy/forward/rude/vulgar etc, and respond to the ones you want. Keep it fun and you'll be fine.

Re: Online Dating?

[(Anonymous)]

I've had some great relationships via OkCupid. :)

Re: Online Dating?

[(Anonymous)]

The one thing I have to say about online dating is something that I remember anonymouslyyours saying on here once. And it's this: always keep in mind the fact that if these people were in a satisfying relationship, and happy, and not wanting to meet cool people, they wouldn't be on an online dating site. There's some kind of hole in their life.

Re: Online Dating?

[(Anonymous)]

Eh, I wouldn't say that's really true. More a stereotype.

Re: Online Dating?

[(Anonymous)]

Also as someone who used an online dating site, and met cool people through it, it's less about there being a hole in your life for some, and more about just trying to use a different way to meet new people.

Re: Online Dating?

[herpymcderp]

No personal experience, but I had a room mate who got a lot of dates (serious ones) using plenty of fish as well as a lot of hookups. She was very choosy about it, apparently.

Seriously though, she practically found a new guy to date every other week and we live in a fairly small city.

Re: Online Dating?

[(Anonymous)]

Pretty much all dating sites, by definition, are going to have men and women looking for quick hookups. But that doesn't mean that everyone there is after that. You just have to sort through everyone.

OKCupid is probably hands-down the best dating site, for two reasons: it's free, and it really tries to help users get their personalities across instead of just pictures. The profiles you can make can really be helpful, because they ask a variety of questions (none of which are the awkward "a perfect date is" or "I'm a sexy lonely blonde D-cup looking for fun"), and then the personality quizzes (which are kind of fun) help recommend people who are more similar to you.

Are there people looking for hookups? Yes, of course. But for what it's worth, you are able to put straight on your profile what you're after, be it friendship, long-term relationships, short term relationships, or casual sex. Does everyone abide by that, no. But I think OKCupid does try to be more immersive than the average site, and it's free, AND it's probably the most popular (?) dating site so that means you're going to have more options than probably almost any other site. I've had good experiences (though I'm a gay woman so there's that) but in the end, any sort of online dating is going to be the luck of the draw. It's not really about the website itself, just the users who happen to be in your area.

if you really don't want guys looking for quick hookups, I mean, you could try those crazy religious dating sites but somehow I think there are still going to be people there on the prowl. that's the nature of the dating world, alas.

Re: Online Dating?

[(Anonymous)]

I def recommend OkCupid. You have to do the work to fill stuff out honestly, but their sorting system is pretty good. It's still gonna have people just looking for hookups, but I had a couple very lovely dates with people I met that way, and made some nice friends. Bonus points: when I sorted by "just friends," one of my actual IRL best friends came up as #1, and several of my other friends were ranked pretty highly, so I'm pretty confident in their system! The major pitfall is just that not everyone fills out the same amount of sorting materials, and not everyone is 100% honest about it (not in that they're deceptive, just that it's difficult to quantify certain beliefs and ideas, so you might think their responses are perfect when they're really just "ehhh, close enough?" answers). But that's fairly analogous to the complexities of in-person interaction, so. Eh.