[ SECRET POST #2957 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2957 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 064 secrets from Secret Submission Post #423.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Well, "queerplatonic" isn't a thing. Or rather, it's a made up word to describe something that already has a word, and in my opinion, putting "queer" in it makes it pretty offensive. It appropriates 'queer', which is still something that gay people deal with very seriously. Even if it is well-intentioned, as a gay person, I'd be pretty annoyed with anyone using "queer" to describe themselves if they are gay or transgender.

[dreemyweird]

Oh, no, I didn't mean the difference between the words themselves. I absolutely agree that "queerplatonic" isn't a good word to use. I meant the semantic difference - does "BFF" imply all the same things "queerplatonic" implies (the "queerness" issue aside)?

[(Anonymous)]

I would say no, but that's due to personal experiences. There's at least one person in my life with whom I'm not in a romance that best friendship isn't enough to cover.

I don't know what I would call that relationship, though. Not a romance. Not anything with queer in it certainly. There isn't really a word for it.

[(Anonymous)]

I think the word is still "best friends." Just because people sometimes throw around the word to describe any acquaintance who they spend more time with than any other acquaintance, doesn't mean the term isn't accurate.

[(Anonymous)]

I know what a best friend is, thank you. You on the other hand don't know my relationship with the person in question and you really don't get to tell me it's 'just best friends' when I literally just told you it's not and it's more than that with no word for it.

Please don't do that.

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt

Maybe explain how it's different than a best friend if you don't have a single word to explain it? Otherwise people are going to go "if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is a duck" on you.

[(Anonymous)]

"More than best friends"

best friend is by definition the highest sort of friend. everyone thinks their relationship with their best friend is super special and all, and they will try to qualify this ("we're like sisters! soul mates! platonic in love!") but in the end it's still best friend.

add all the qualifiers you want, I guess, the sky's the limit. "my dear best friend", "my soul mate best friend", "my best friend who I fuck on occasion", "best friend who I've been married to for forty years", whatever.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, I didn't say "just" best friends. I don't think there's anything "just" or "mere" or "only" about best friendship.

I don't think friendship is a lightweight concept. You can say there's no word for it, but every best-friend-relationship is unique and different from other people's best-friend-relationship. You can't really "know what a best friend is" as you say, because "best friends" is not some specific uniform neatly-categorized type of relationship with clearly defined limits and parameters that is the same for everyone, and which your relationship is somehow higher and better than. Friendships probably have the greatest variety and flexibility of any kind of personal relationship - they encompass the whole array of emotionally significant relationships that are not family or romantic.

There probably should be more specific terms for different types of friendships, but even if best friends is unsatisfyingly non-specific, that term does encompass the highest and most meaningful possible non-family/non-romantic relationships.

[(Anonymous)]

I would say 'best friend' is exactly that. I don't think there is a "more than best friend".

[diet_poison]

...did you mean to say if they aren't gay or transgender? otherwise this is kind of a confusing comment