[ SECRET POST #2960 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2960 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Better early than late!

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 034 secrets from Secret Submission Post #423.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I've only seen the movie, not read the books, but women changing their name after marriage as well as defaulting to giving the father's surname is a Very Important Issue for me.

I have a lot of ideas on this, but I'll sum them up: Overall, I don't think it's an issue when women go into marriage name and child-naming mindfully and decide what's right for them. I just hate that so many go for what seems easiest because what's easiest it just the default built on years of sexist history.

Furthermore, it's not just doing the default that makes everything "easier." I have numerous friends who don't share surnames with their parents or siblings because of divorce and remarriage. For those families, everything would have been simpler if they all had just gotten their mothers' surname.

[(Anonymous)]

It's really only "easiest" for social reasons, too. Legally, it's a lengthy, annoying process to change your name.

[(Anonymous)]

Took my sister one form and twenty minutes to change her last name when she was married...

[(Anonymous)]

Really? And that one form changed her name at every place where a person might need o update their information? She didn't have to notify the post office, the cable company, the electric company, her doctor, her bank, her insurance, the DMV, her HR dept, etc? And none of those places wanted to see her marriage certificate, her new social security card, or both? That one form did it ALL for her?

[(Anonymous)]

The most time consuming thing was social security. Maybe the DMV. Either way, name changing is hardly a traumatic event and that was pre-internet. I think you're overstating the complexity of name changing.

[(Anonymous)]

It's not a traumatic event, but it's a royal pain in the ass. Maybe it's gotten to be a bigger pain since your sister did it, I dunno. My comment came from my own experience of changing my name a year and a half ago. My cable company in particular for some fucking reason was one of the places that wanted to see both my SS card and my marriage certificate before they'd update it, and that took forever to do because their brick-and-mortar was only open during my work hours.

[lunabee34]

I agree. I did not change my name when I married, but the number of places I would have had to go and change it was mind boggling.

[esteefee]

Changing my name was a pain in the ass. Not just various financial accounts, credit cards, SS, DL, phones, cellular, DSL, gas&power accounts, etc., but also my living trust and property titles (I own a lot of properties.) Very costly and time-consuming. Lots of visits to various gov't agencies and notaries. It is not a small deal at all for some.

[(Anonymous)]

Nope. One form.

She didn't have anything else in her name.

Also, calm down. Geez.

[(Anonymous)]

She didn't have her own bank account? She didn't have a job?

Also, what's with the "calm down?" Can you not take it when someone else's experience conflicts with your own anecdotal evidence?

[lb_lee]

God I envy your sister. Changing our name is going to be an ASS AND A HALF, and we won't even have an obviously gendered name.

(We're on disability, which means we'd have to notify not just our bank, our landlord, the post office, and the DMV, but three other government agencies, two of which have a history of massive paperwork errors leading to our benefits almost getting axed. I SO am not taking that on until I am in a very stable state of mind, which energy to burn.)

--Rogan

[(Anonymous)]

It must have been a gloriously run department. My sister had a reasonable time when changing her name after getting married, but when they divorced, it took her half a year to sort out just switching her last name back on her ID, the DMV mysteriously never send the physical ID out. They had owned nothing together or had children, so it wasn't pressing but very fucking inconvenient. All the DMVS near me, a highly populated area, appointment or forms on the ready, we're still going to wait a long time.