Because you'll not be able to do right no matter how good you are, so write that Holmes and Watson take Concorde direct to New Zealand to solve the murder of a cyber-hacker with a laudanum addiction, and who was in a gay marriage with a dodo farmer

I would also read that fic. Hell, I'd watch that movie. Make it an episode of Doctor Who with time travel shenanigans to explain/excuse the anachronisms, we're all golden.