fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2992 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2992 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Grand Theft Auto 5]

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03.

[Zipang]

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04.

[Ricky Gervais]

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05.

[Tokyo Babylon/X1999]

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06.

[Dexter]

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07.

[The Mentalist]

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08.

[The Truth - Terry Pratchett]

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09.

[It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia]

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10.

[Douglas Adams]

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11.

[Black Books]

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12.

[Lucky Star]

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13.

[Edward Petherbridge as Lord Peter Wimsey]

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14.

[Ga-In, Brown Eyed Girls]

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15.

[Oz the Great and Powerful]

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16.

[Colin Baker]

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17.

[9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors]

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18.

[Yatterman Night]

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19.

[Johnny the Homicidal Maniac]

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20.

[Blake's 7]

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21.

[Game Grumps]

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22.

[Alexis Denisof]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 07 pages, 170 secrets from Secret Submission Post #428.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Long story short, I'm in some RL trouble and I kind of talked about it with a couple of friends*. As a result, one friend is all worried and apparently wants to help me by giving me stuff (not money).

*I wasn't complaining, I just stated a fact, but in such matters there isn't, I find, much difference :/

Thing is, 1) I physically have a considerable sum of money, 2) most of my struggles are entirely self-inflicted and are a result of me living in a state of terror re:my family's future (though with good reason), and 3) I'm definitely not destitute and am in no immediate danger of becoming homeless/starving/failing my uni degree.

I'm feeling bad about the whole situation. They know about all of the above, but I still keep suspecting that I misled them in some way and that I might've behaved like the worst kind of attention seeker. It's not like I DIDN'T get some thrill out of their sympathy. Thing is, I have no idea if that was just me being in need of consolation or if I wanted sympathy for its own sake D: Now I hate myself a little.

There's nothing wrong with wanting some sympathy. You weren't trying to get anything out of them, you just needed a bit of emotional support which they were happy to offer and I'm sure you would offer the same for them.

Obviously there is a point where this stuff can become emotional manipulation but I wish everyone would stop making people feel guilty for needing some support now and then.

If you're actually concerned you may have manipulated someone into giving you stuff, I don't think you actually manipulated anyone, because most manipulators don't actually feel bad about the shit they do or that there's anything wrong with it. Everyone complains about their life a little, and your friend is actually being a friend and trying to help. Tell them "thank you but I'll be okay."

This X 1000000000 if you're worried you're manipulative? You're not manipulative. Barring some wildly unrealistic miracle (or possibly a blow to the head? j/k), most manipulative people never get any insight into the fact that how they're able/want to play people like violins is a really really bad no good thing.

Er. Yeah.

Or in my ex-friend's case, violas!

lol

I don't think that you did anything emotionally manipulative.

To the extent that you were emotionally manipulative, it's only in the sense that you made friends and they worry about you and care about you. And that's not a bad thing! It's okay to have friends who worry about you and it's okay to be comforted by their sympathy and consolation.

[ SECRET POST #2992 ]

Have I been emotionally manipulative?

Re: Have I been emotionally manipulative?

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