fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3001 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3001 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

[Red Dwarf]

__________________________________________________

03.

[Tim Gutterson, Justified]

__________________________________________________

04.

[Obscurus Lupa; Channel Awesome]

__________________________________________________

05.

[Joseph Gordon-Levitt]

__________________________________________________

06.

[Blackadder]

__________________________________________________

07.

[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]

__________________________________________________

08.

[Babylon 5]

__________________________________________________

09.

[Pacific Rim]

__________________________________________________

10.

[Diana Gabaldon, Outlander series]

__________________________________________________

11.

[L.A. Confidential]

__________________________________________________

12.

[Koe no Katachi]

__________________________________________________

13.

[Cold Case]

__________________________________________________

14.

[Amanda Palmer & Neil Gaiman]

__________________________________________________

15.

[Sirens]

__________________________________________________

16.

[Neighbours]

__________________________________________________

17.

[Sleepy Hollow]

__________________________________________________

18.

[Neil Gaiman & Amanda Palmer]

__________________________________________________

19.

[Garbage - Only happy when it rains]

__________________________________________________

20.

[Mary Portas, aka "Mary, Queen of Shops"]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 088 secrets from Secret Submission Post #429.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So I'm pretty sure I'm queer, and I want my parents to know that. They'll be fine with it, so I'm not worried they'll disown me or anything. But there's not really an opportunity to bring it up in casual conversation, and if I sit them down all like "I have something to tell you", they'll think it's some big life-changing announcement, when it's mostly just a piece of my identity I want them to know about. Basically, I don't want it to be a big deal, but I'm not sure how to do that.

I know I'm rambling, but I hope my point got across. I was wondering if you guys had any advice.

If you don't want to be direct, you could always make it obvious without actually having the conversation. Start pointing out in movies or on the streets all the same-sex people you think are cute. Joke about wanting to marry a famous celebrity or fictional character you like. They should get the idea.

Mom. Dad. What's gay and has two thumbs?

(or guy)

Dinner table. Lull in the conversation. "So. I'm [insert whatever label you identify with here]." Since you know they'll be fine with it, it can come up pretty much anywhere.

If you are talking about someone else's relationship, you could slip it into the conversation, e.g. "Hey mom, have you wondered/noticed yet that I'm queer? I just wanted to make sure in case you'd like to ask anything."

You're "pretty sure"?

Wow, yeah, that degree of definiteness really calls for a big sit-down talk. Hmph, maybe it does.

You may be one case where parents asking, "Have you tried not being a Tumblrina?" is totally justified.

"Pretty sure." e.e

I think men are attractive, and I think women are attractive. So yes, I am pretty sure that fits some definition of queer.

Don't be such a douchebag.

Don't be an ass, man.

buzz off

they know their sexuality better than you do

I just kind of wound up casually being like, "So, this is my boyfriend."

I didn't even really mention anything until then and I didn't feel the need to make an announcement. My parents were much like yours, in that they just kind of nodded and were like "yep" and went back to what they were doing.

Later my mom was like "so, orientation wise..." and I was like "bisexual".

That's pretty much all that needed to be said.

Sup, dad, mom. I like to suck dick.

If you have a partner of the same sex, it should be easy to drop them into conversation.

If you ever talk to them about finding celebrities or characters attractive then you can pick a few of the same sex to talk about.

I've done both of these as a way to get the information out there.

What I did with a couple of my friends was complained about my brother's girlfriend being homophobic and tacked on a "by the way, this is particularly annoying since I'm bi". They can be kind of awkward about finding just the right thing to say, so I figured that would give them an easy way to respond since the "oh that sucks" is easier to figure out than whatever the proper response to "I'm gay/bi" is.

Even just bluntly saying "I'm gay" can be okay. I was in exactly your situation with my mom and that was all I did because I was tired of worrying about how to do it and just wanted to get it over with. She absorbed that and we moved on to other topics.

It was all very anticlimactic for me. I kind of ended up wishing some of these people had made a bigger deal out of it after all the stress I felt over the whole thing. But of course I know it's good that it wasn't a big deal to them (I haven't told any of the people who will care).

I told then via email. It was a generic email about organising something. At the end I went "ps. I'm gay"

Their reply was "we know but why are you telling us?" (I think they hoped I was dating) and I just replied with "dunno".

Maybe try something similar with your own personal twist? Or next time they ask about your rat you can go "well it turns out I'm gay and I cleaned my room"

I wrote it in a letter and left it in their room for them to find in the morning

if they wanna talk about it after that, it'll be on them

I'm very socially awkward but still savvy enough to embrace it, so I personally recommend the most straightforward route: whenever you would normally be talking to your parents, just say, "Hey, I know you two are cool and loving, so this isn't a huge announcement and I don't want to make a big deal of it, but I did want you to know I'm [your label]."

[ SECRET POST #3001 ]

How to come out to parents without making a big deal out of it?

Re: How to come out to parents without making a big deal out of it?

Re: How to come out to parents without making a big deal out of it?

Re: How to come out to parents without making a big deal out of it?

Re: How to come out to parents without making a big deal out of it?

Re: How to come out to parents without making a big deal out of it?

OP

Re: How to come out to parents without making a big deal out of it?

Re: How to come out to parents without making a big deal out of it?

Re: How to come out to parents without making a big deal out of it?

Re: How to come out to parents without making a big deal out of it?

Re: How to come out to parents without making a big deal out of it?

Re: How to come out to parents without making a big deal out of it?

Re: How to come out to parents without making a big deal out of it?

Re: How to come out to parents without making a big deal out of it?

Re: How to come out to parents without making a big deal out of it?