fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3011 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3011 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

(Transformers: War for Cybertron)

__________________________________________________

03.

[iZombie]

__________________________________________________

04.

[Amazingphil]

__________________________________________________

05.

[How to get away with murder/Scandal]

__________________________________________________

06.

[Russell Brand]

__________________________________________________

07.

[Hand of Fate]

__________________________________________________

08.

[Homestuck, The Nostalgia Critic, Channel Awesome]

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

(An American Tail)

__________________________________________________

11.

[Mark Steel]

__________________________________________________

12.

[Once Upon a Time]

__________________________________________________

13.

[X-Files, The Lone Gunmen]

__________________________________________________

14.

[Divergent series]

__________________________________________________

15.

[One Piece]

__________________________________________________

16.

[Criminal Minds: Derek Morgan]

__________________________________________________

17.

[Bad Suns: Salt music video]

__________________________________________________

18.

[Accuracy of Death/Sweet Rain/Shinigami no seido]

__________________________________________________

19.

[Steven Universe]

__________________________________________________

20.

[One Piece]

__________________________________________________

21.

__________________________________________________

22.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 023 secrets from Secret Submission Post #430.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm a woman. Here are things I've never experienced:

-I have never been treated poorly in an MMO for being female
-I have never had my "greek cred" questioned because I'm female
-I have never been catcalled
-When I had a dating profile, I never got creepy messages. I just got regular messages from interested people
-I have never had a guy act like a jackass after I turned him down

I could go on. The only thing that's happened to me is someone grabbed my butt at a concert once.

All of the things that happen to women regularly...I KNOW they happen. I've seen them happen. But they don't happen to me. I don't get it. I guess I'm glad, but...what makes me different? Why do some of us never experience this shit and others experience it all the time? I don't think it's an attractiveness thing, either, because I've never really had trouble attracting people.

Could it be because of where you live or the social circles you're in?

Enh, random chance is funny that way. Also, times change. Back in the day, my system member sisters never got charged on their geek cred. However, more recently, some asshole questioned me about whether one of them were truly geeky... after I had already mentioned she was dead. (Word to the wise: don't try and geek check my dead sister. It will not endear you to me.) I think that is a more recent phenomenon, at least in our area.

The creeping was constant though. For a while, my system duties mostly consisted of getting rid of creepy guys who wouldn't take no for an answer. (Truly, a glamorous job full of excitement.)

--Rogan

It's just luck.

You haven't crossed paths with many jerks, while other people have the bad luck of crossing paths with far to many.

(As for me, I have had a mix of experiences.)

I honestly don't know.

Maybe it's the area you live in, or your social circles? Maybe you just give off a 'don't mess with me' vibe?

I know I tend to attract the occasional weirdo on the bus, and I can only really explain it as I must have some kind of creeper catnip on me. :(

I don't know. I'm constantly wondering if I've done something to invite any gross behaviour, even though I know it's not really about me.

Ugh. Random body part groping. I don't get it. Why is that even a thing? I had someone reach out mid-conversation in a group of people and just grab my boob, and continued talking, holding my boob, no change in expression. The conversation wasn't even about boobs. Nobody else made any move to stop him, or even said anything. I was just like "Please remove your hand from my boob" and he said something about wanting to know how they felt and then walked off.

I don't even know why someone would think that was an acceptable way to behave. I don't know why they would do that to me, specifically. There's no logic in it.

Luck of the draw

I'm a lesbian who has never experienced homophobia personally and who didn't have one single problem coming out to the whole family, 80-year-old grandma included, who went from not having any idea to making me a whole embroidered bed set for my wedding...

I say it's just luck.

I got a check on almost all of the things you mention, so: I hope your good luck keeps on following you.

And if it does turn out that the area where you live does play a part in this, let the rest of us know so we can all move there!

Same, anon. I wonder if it's luck of the draw, or if it's a specific way we're presenting ourselves, or what. I've seen female friends of the same age walk down the same street I just did without incident and get harassed. I can't help but wonder if, in some small part, it's because street harassers are bullies and cowards. I'm tall and visibly muscular; my friends were short and petite. I too get my fair share of (positive) male attention, so I don't think it's looks, either.

Honestly the most terrified I've ever been on the street was when I was mistaken for a man (wearing a men's jacket and had a short haircut at the time) walking with another male friend, and a huge group of posturing assholes surrounded us for being on their "turf" and threatened to get violent. I know they mistook me for a man because they referred to me as such (I know I've posted a vocaroo clip here before but if you missed that, I have a very androgynous voice that means I'm taken for male when gaming about 100% of the time, so that wouldn't give me away either), and made it clear they want to fight us. Thank fucking hell a police patrol stopped when it saw that shit to "check up" on us.

I had not seriously been catcalled until I moved to a city. I lived in a small town before, and I guess I didn't really walk around at night often, when the culture is mostly driving.

Now I live in one of the biggest cities in the world, and I don't have a car. I walk everywhere. Walking alone at night I can pretty much guarantee I'll be catcalled and harassed if I go through certain areas. Just last night some guy grabbed my arm as I walked by. Honestly, I'm sadly to the point where I don't think much of it, I just plow through and don't make eye contact. Which is sad, to get to the point where you just brush of street harassment, but what do you do?

Anyway, I'm trying to say, it probably depends on where you live. If you're a young woman walking alone at night in a big city, especially through the areas with pubs and nightlife, your chances of being harassed are much higher than if you drive everywhere and don't go out at night. Of course, I'm not saying that EVERYONE WOMAN EVER WILL BE HARASSED RAAH or anything like that but I just have the experience of thinking "meh, that doesn't really actually happen that often" to "ugh, this happens".

I also live in one of the biggest cities in the world, and I've been catcalled once. In my whole life. And never grabbed or harassed. It really is luck, I guess.

To add to the discussion, I also don't think it has anything to do with overall level of attractiveness. HOWEVER, in my experience (in many cities across the US and in a couple foreign countries), I do think those of us who have more overtly visible, shall we say, secondary sexual characteristics, tend to be harassed more often than women who might well be gorgeous but don't have quite as much T&A going on.

Definitely disagree.. I have "nothing" going on and get catcalled all the time. But I am thin and blonde, who knows.

It could be that your own standards for:

Poor treatment,
Insulting questions,
Catcalling (seriously the number of people who don't get that when a guy stops you to ask how you're doing, he's not doing that because he want's to make sure you day is going well),
Creepy messages,
And jackassery

Are all significantly lower than the standards of the rest of us?

Wow, this isn't a subtle form of gaslighting at all.

I don't know for sure about the OP, but I've never even been asked how my day is going and I've only been treated poorly if not paying attention to someone (minding your own business) is treating them poorly?

[ SECRET POST #3011 ]

Sometimes I feel like I live in an alternate universe

Re: Sometimes I feel like I live in an alternate universe

Re: Sometimes I feel like I live in an alternate universe

Re: Sometimes I feel like I live in an alternate universe

Re: Sometimes I feel like I live in an alternate universe

Re: Sometimes I feel like I live in an alternate universe

Re: Sometimes I feel like I live in an alternate universe

Re: Sometimes I feel like I live in an alternate universe

Re: Sometimes I feel like I live in an alternate universe

Re: Sometimes I feel like I live in an alternate universe

Re: Sometimes I feel like I live in an alternate universe

Re: Sometimes I feel like I live in an alternate universe

Re: Sometimes I feel like I live in an alternate universe

Re: Sometimes I feel like I live in an alternate universe

DA