I know I have issues with eating. I've lost over 25 pounds in the past year (went from 142 to 117.2 lbs at 5'2").
I'm healthy now…
But I also obsessively count my calories and I induce vomiting in panic whenever I stress out that I've gone over my calorie limit. I look at all the other girls on my campus obsessively and compare how thin I am to them and always find myself wanting.
I look up celebrity weights and heights to check their BMIs and compare it to my own. I'm still trying to get under 115 because it kills me that Zoe Saldana weighs that much when she's a full 5 inches taller than me.
I always felt like a piece of shit for being heavier (at my heaviest I was 157 lbs) and I'm slimmer now, but I've never felt ashamed of my lower weight. Ever. I don't even think that kind of talk applies to me because I just want to get smaller (aiming for sub-110). And when people here talk about how much they weigh and how easy it is for them or how they're naturally skinny, it kills me inside. It really does.
Re: Actually..
I know I have issues with eating. I've lost over 25 pounds in the past year (went from 142 to 117.2 lbs at 5'2").
I'm healthy now…
But I also obsessively count my calories and I induce vomiting in panic whenever I stress out that I've gone over my calorie limit. I look at all the other girls on my campus obsessively and compare how thin I am to them and always find myself wanting.
I look up celebrity weights and heights to check their BMIs and compare it to my own. I'm still trying to get under 115 because it kills me that Zoe Saldana weighs that much when she's a full 5 inches taller than me.
I always felt like a piece of shit for being heavier (at my heaviest I was 157 lbs) and I'm slimmer now, but I've never felt ashamed of my lower weight. Ever. I don't even think that kind of talk applies to me because I just want to get smaller (aiming for sub-110). And when people here talk about how much they weigh and how easy it is for them or how they're naturally skinny, it kills me inside. It really does.