fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3015 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3015 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Puzzle & Dragons (Japanese Mobile Phone game)]

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03.

[Thunderbirds]

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04.

[Avenged Sevenfold]

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05.

[Umineko no Naku Koro ni]

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06.

(Donald Tusk, President Of The European Council)

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07.

[The Hobbit]

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08.

[Nicholas Lea]

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09.

[Vocaloid]

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10.

[Grimm/Angel]

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11.

(the Tale of the Princess Kaguya)

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12.

[Jimmy Carr and Sarah Millican]

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13.

[The Phantom of the Opera]

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14.

[How to get away with murder/Liza Weil]

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15.

[Once Upon a Time]

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16.

[Inazuma Eleven]

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17.

(Aiden Turner in Poldark)

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18.

[Star Trek: Into Darkness]

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19.

[Nathan Fillion]

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20.

[Harry Potter]

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21.

[Sherlock]

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22.

[MCU/The Avengers (film series)]

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23.

[Gillian Anderson]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 106 secrets from Secret Submission Post #431.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah. Staving off panic, sort of and badly, with the internet. I can't crawl in a hole and hide and wait to die, but right now I really want to. Sorry you're hurting; hope you feel better soon.

Hey anon not AYRT but I just wanted to say that I've been there too & I hope things get better

Hi, OP here, I'm sorry things are bad. Wanna talk?

AYRT-- sure, I guess. What's keeping you up, if you don't mind my asking? Do you have a favorite insomnia game/book/movie?

Mostly just pain--I have rheumatoid arthritis and some other junk and shit hurts. Other than that I'm just bumming around.

As for my favorite insomnia thing, it's a tie--historical fiction audiobooks, and (this is weird) Game Grumps videos (idk why, I've never played a video game in my life, but they make me laugh and feel at ease?).

You?

I tend to aimlessly surf the web, that, or reread old favorites, anything by Bujold or Pratchett. I'm not much into audiobooks, or gaming, but I'm always up for new book recs. Okay, so the Game Grumps guys do lets plays or reviews? I had no idea, all I've seen is fanart starring them. Man, R.A. sucks. Hope you manage some pain-free (or at least, pain at ignorable levels) sleep at some point.

My freak-out's more mental than physical.
Just found out my mom has liver cancer, probably thanks to a lifetime of alcoholism, to go with her second round of breast cancer, which she found out about a couple months after finishing up a hopefully sucessful run of chemo and radiation for non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. And because of the drinking, which also killed both her parents and one of her two brothers, she has cyrhosis/basically no liver function. It's basically a waiting game to see what gets her, if she doesn't throw herself in front of a car first. (Which is how my dad died, although we'll never be sure if that was deliberate- he had drug-induced paranoid schizophrenia and he may not have been aware he'd walked onto a busy freeway.) It's just over a year since my dad's older brother died (more cancer, so I've got a pretty good guess how I'll go.) I'm thinking a lot about death and suffering and how unfair life can be. I've had maybe three hours of sleep. I should try and get some more before I have to in to work today.

I always thought there'd be time for my mom to get help when she retired. Instead she had to leave before she got fired for drinking on the job, when she'd always stupidly prided herself on being a "functional" (there's no such thing) alcoholic. She was drunk at work because she'd found a lump and thought her lymphoma had come back. Nope, breast cancer. Again. So she quit, started radiation (she wouldn't survive chemo), and now this. She lived through so much awful shit and I thought there'd have to be an end of it so she could be happy for a bit, after a 15 year unbroken streak of shit luck and crappy choices on both my part and hers, and my dad's, before he died. She's been suicidal since before I was born, her dad sexually abused her whole family and my dad was a controlling asshole to the tune of running a mini-cult, we're each other's disgustingly codependent support system, and we basically have no family or friends but each other. I think I can cope, but I'm not sure she believes that. And I know she can't cope, at least, not without alcohol, which doesn't count as coping when it's killing her. /panic attack

I take myself to a cute animals based website when I find myself where you are. Stupid but it really helps to trick my brain back into line.

[ SECRET POST #3015 ]

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