[ SECRET POST #3031 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3031 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Going to be a late day, so early secrets!

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 035 secrets from Secret Submission Post #433.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

But that's an incredibly condescending and patronizing attitude to take towards women who actually have these fantasies. And that's obvious in your first post, because you assume she couldn't POSSIBLY know that fantasy rape isn't the same as real rape.

Wrt power v. desire: not all real rape is actually about power. This is part of why there's a lot of confusion over what rape actually entails. Sometimes, rape happens because someone's desire really does override both their better judgment and empathy. It's good to talk about the kind of rape that's about power, especially since that's the kind of rape committed by serial, predatory rapists. But it's really not good at all to say that rape is never about desire, because that ignores so much of what actually happens. And making this division between the two, and having ravishment = desire and rape = power, is really, really fucking dangerous, because it contributes to the idea that certain kinds of RL non-consensual sex aren't actually as bad.

Also, a lot of people who have rape fantasies are turned on by the power dynamic. It's the idea of not being in control and of being completely and totally powerless that gets them off.

[diet_poison]

because it contributes to the idea that certain kinds of RL non-consensual sex aren't actually as bad.

Ironically my issue with it is also that I think the wording AIRT was using is harmful IRL by messing with the definition of rape. We seem to be coming at it from completely different directions, though. I didn't even make the "rape is about power" claim; where I'm coming from is that desire and lack of control do not mean rape at all - and neither does power for that matter because plenty of people engage in consensual power play. (ETA: allow me to correct myself. I didn't remember typing it but I did actually make that claim. While I don't think I've ever heard of someone raping out of sheer desire, I guess I can't say it doesn't exist. I apologize. I didn't mean to invalidate anyone's experiences.)

But that's an incredibly condescending and patronizing attitude to take towards women who actually have these fantasies.

I'm not saying people shouldn't have those fantasies? At all?

And that's obvious in your first post, because you assume she couldn't POSSIBLY know that fantasy rape isn't the same as real rape.

I didn't say that either. Obviously AIRT knows what fantasy is...

I get that you're frustrated but it feels like you're responding from a general frustration with this whole discussion and not specifically to me. To be fair, though, I'm probably also doing that myself. :/