Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2015-04-23 06:40 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2015-04-23 06:40 pm
[ SECRET POST #3032 ]
⌈ Secret Post #3032 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
01.
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02.
[Ioan Gruffudd/Horatio Hornblower]
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03.
[ebooks tree]
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04.
[Horrible Histories]
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05.
[Burn Notice]
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06.
[Bradley Cooper]
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07.
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08.
[Grimm]
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09.
[Assassin's Creed: UNITY]
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10. [POSSIBLE WARNING for suicide]
[David Walliams]
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11.
[Game of Thrones]
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12.
[Nina Dobrev]
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13.
[The Avengers]
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14.
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15.
[Fire Emblem: Awakening]
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16.
Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 019 secrets from Secret Submission Post #433.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: Social etiquette
(Anonymous) 2015-04-24 02:28 am (UTC)(link)Pretty much! But the people on the receiving end usually don't pick up on that, or they're polite enough not to mention it.
Oooh, god. I hate those people. I usually just get straight to the point...but I'm rude. XD;; Honestly, it sounds less about what your saying, than it does about their refusal to respect someone else's boundaries. I mean, maybe I'm wrong. That's just how it's sounding to me.
On the off chance that it is a boundaries thing - the only thing I've ever really seen work is to keep enforcing the boundary until they get it. So something like "I really appreciate the offer and I'll keep it in mind, but I'm not up for talking about it right now." If they keep pressing: "I appreciate the concern, however - as I've already said - I'm not up for discussing that at the moment." If it's possible, throw in "You keep pressing me to talk about something I've stated I'm not comfortable talking about right now, and I really need you to stop. Otherwise I'm going to need to leave" - and follow through.
[The last one only really works for family/friends, but idk whose doing it so...hope that helps?]
Re: Social etiquette
Yeah, it's their problem I guess. I was hoping for a magic solution, like an escape jet pack.
In reality I can't make people feel shame if it's not in their nature.
I have been trying to avoid the conversation, but they've recruited other people to ask for them and report back. I can't actually avoid having the conversation at some point even if it's just to tell them that I will not now or ever be having the conversation.
Re: Social etiquette
(Anonymous) 2015-04-24 03:08 am (UTC)(link)You know, if this is at work, you could try talking to HR since I'm willing to bet this might cross a few policies. If nothing else they'd at least be aware of the issue and that always helps.
Re: Social etiquette
It's why I miss work at the moment. The best excuse for avoiding conversations is the real excuse of being too busy to have a social life.
Re: Social etiquette
*haha, obviously, you don't actually have to answer XD
Re: Social etiquette
Now I don't want to tell any of them anything, and she keeps calling me and emailing and texting.
Idk. I've had friends recently asking really specific questions that make me uncomfortable too. Stuff about money because I'm off work and there's been a lot of really pointed "are you better yet?" kind of questions from one friend in particular, and I know he's trying to make me feel like he's on to me? Because I'm making shit up? I mean, he's a dick, but I'm still hoping he'll snap out of it.
Re: Social etiquette
Sucks when behavior like that comes from family. It's so much harder to avoid, and cutting out toxic shit comes at a far steeper price when it can generate drama with other family members (even when it's warranted).