[ SECRET POST #3058 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3058 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #437.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Ughhhhh

[(Anonymous)]

That’s not romantic, that’s creepy

That was your glaring error, right there. That's a personal judgment on your part, not about the writing at all. It's like I said-- if you're going to stay in this program, you have to learn to deal with the fact that people are going to write things that you're going to find "creepy." It isn't your place as someone giving critique to make that judgment.

Your first paragraph, however, is fine, even if the tone is a bit sharp. You're making references to the character and how she can be improved-- that's good! You can still say that to make the age gap believable, there needs to be more build-up/justification, without making it about how it creeps you out. Stick with that, and leave your personal biases out of it.