fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3085 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3085 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What are some things people say/do that grate you, even though you know they mean well?

I'm leaving my job as a legal assistant to go to law school. I've gotten a lot of people asking if my current job didn't challenge me enough or people straight out saying that I'm too smart for it. I know they mean it as a compliment, but it's such an insult to what I've been doing for years and all the other people who work in that position.

Yeah, that is a little insulting. :/

I started this because I was thinking about how whenever someone's sick or deceased, the first thing people say is "tell me if there's anything I can do to help." I mean, I totally get it - they feel badly that it happened and want to. But sometimes "anything" isn't convenient, and the person you're saying that to knows it. You're not going to wipe their father's diapers, or take their kids to school, or even collect the mail. It's better to just think of something specific and offer that.

SA - Typo! "I totally get it - they feel badly that it happened and want to" was supposed to be "they feel badly that it happened and want to offer support."

But unless you mention a specific problem all they can offer is "anything"? Also I think that's a bit of an assumption that they wouldn't do what you ask them to.

But how do you know they wouldn't do it? This is the kind of thing I say in this situation, because every individual's needs are going to be different in these types of situations, and when I say it I MEAN it. So... how do you know they wouldn't do it for you if you never ask them?

When I was a kid, I looked young for my age. People would always tell me that I'd love it when I got older. This has proven true even now (and I'm still far from "older"), but at the same time... I think that's a bullshit thing to say to a kid. Yes, it's great when you're in your thirties and can still pass as a college student, but when you're seventeen and people think you're in middle school, it sucks.

I'm an adult and I still hate being told that because it hasn't come true yet. People think I'm a teenager or young twenty-something who's still not old enough to be taken seriously. I don't want to be treated like one. I won't want to be treated like one when I'm 50.

I was annoyed by this all the way up till the present day. Though I have to admit, now that I've started to actually age slightly (no longer pass for 20) I'm appreciating it more than before.

"I'm not saying you're wrong, but..."

Er, yes you are.

Unsolicited medical advice. Every time I have a kidney stone, I get a ton of unsolicited (and generally incorrect) advice, and it gets really annoying to have the same conversations over and over with people who've never had kidney stones, but get annoyed if I disagree with them. But they feel like they can keep going if I agree with them just to try and end the conversation faster.

"Well-meaning" is a phrase I'm beginning to hate. It's always so patronizing.

I hate it when loved ones die and people say, "Oh, well, they're in a better place now" or "God called them home" or "God needed him/her". Fuck you.

"If you think of yourself as pretty, you will be." It doesn't work for Sarah Jessica Parker, and it won't work for me either.

This is so fucked up.

[ SECRET POST #3085 ]

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