fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3091 ]

[ SECRET POST #3091 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3091 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 051 secrets from Secret Submission Post #442.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I'm a white man posting in female spaces, and sometimes about female issues even. This is an ultimate sin.

Acting like an expert on issues that don't directly affect you kinda is though.

But I never claimed to be (and never would claim to be) an expert. I just post relevant research.

NAYRT but I think perhaps there are times when you post like you think you're an expert, even if you're not claiming to be an expert

I don't know, whatever, fuck it, let's all have a drink

Well I honestly apologize if I come off that way. I'm not trying to talk over female experience, just provide a wider perspective (usually shit I recall from my years of psychology in undergrad).

Sorry to anyone I have offended.

/cheers

DA

If you aren't trying to talk over female experience, then don't talk over female experience. The fact that it's not your intent is pretty irrelevant when the resulting action is exactly that.

Especially don't talk over female experience with info you pulled from undergrad psych courses. Those are a broad overview, frequently contain outdated information at the time they're being taught let alone several years later, and are very, very strongly influenced by the lecturer's own biases.

My school was actually one of the best places for psych in North America.

Not saying that renders your above statements untrue, but to qualify: the overarching lesson of that entire rung of my education was that male and female brains are functionally identical and the only separation thereof was a few specific areas that highly correlate with stereotyped sexual behaviour.

I mean, that and I've been a feminist since I was 14. I'm not basing my affiliation on anything like what you're implying.

that's not why

I do the exact same fucking thing. Trust me, that's not your problem.

Irl and elsewhere on the internet no one is bothered. But then, I have a less ....impersonal(?) identity there than I do here, so the context probably totally different.

Answered my own question lol.

Haha, no, but being a martyr about it might be...

Ain't no martyr complex here. If there were I'd be off crying with the little MRA babies the first time a radfem troll told me to kill myself for being a man.

Allow me to be honest: I think you're (sometimes) an asshole because you act really pretentious. I don't think it has anything to do with being white or very much if anything to do with being male.

Fair point. I am pretty pretentious at times, and 98% of those times are during online interactions. I'm also way worse to anyone commenting anon than I am to named users.

Sometimes the troll response is disproportionate to what I've posted, though in light of the above I guess that's not a totally unreasonable reaction.

Do you care that you are pretentious? You don't really seem to. And honestly that's the biggest reason, I think, why you get on peoples' nerves so much.

Yeah. There's a certain exiled-aristocrat-wearily-condescending-to-the-proles attitude that he gets sometimes that really can be a bit much.

On the basis of the individual and personal interactions, yes, absolutely. IRL I keep it reigned in as hard as I can in an effort to fully take the sum of personal experience into account when I have occasion to correct or disagree with someone. That bleeds over to internet spaces where people have static usernames (like LJ in the old days) or other forms of accountable posting.

When it comes anonymous forums...no. Admittedly, it means I'm a jerk to some people who genuinely don't deserve it, but it's a wash when people are trolling constantly.

That is...a very interesting philosophy. I guess.

I don't even know what to say at this point.

Well I personally know why I think that way; I've self-analyzed it to death over the years, and my opinion regarding caring about what strangers think isn't likely to change much.

Is it detrimental to online interactions? Maybe. I can't really be sure because as far as anonymous people go, I can't be sure if their motives are real. I have no frame of reference to compare things to.

It doesn't mean I'm purposefully treating people like shit, but it definitely means I occasionally ignore when people are being genuine.

tl;dr Oh well. Sorry to those people.

Re: Am I an asshole? a thread

diet_poison - 2015-06-24 05:39 (UTC) - Expand

I feel like you would probably benefit from a psychological screening.

This. I didn't even know herpy wasn't female. I assume all posters here are female unless I learn otherwise, though.

That doesn't make you an asshole. You can be quite narcissistic at times, which makes you come across as an asshole though.

I didn't know you were white or a man until now. Most of the time you seem fine, but there are times when you come off sounding really full of yourself. I'm not sure it's a gender issue.

It's a gender issue.

To be fair, you still don't know I'm a white man. I could be lying! lol

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