[ SECRET POST #3091 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3091 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.














Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 051 secrets from Secret Submission Post #442.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

I just need to vent

[(Anonymous)]

It's late so probably no one will see this, but I just need to get this off my chest.

One of our cars needed to go into the shop. I find out tonight that SO scheduled it to go in for tomorrow. I asked him why he didn't try to schedule it for Tuesday, because I have it off and he KNOWS that. He said his concern was getting the first available appointment and "making it work." He didn't even ASK if they had any other dates or times available, he just said "yes" the minute the guy said, "our first available day is Monday."

He works half an hour in one direction. I work half an hour in the other. So now, I have to get up nearly two fucking hours early to drive him to work, and he's going to get there over two hours before his office even opens (we're doing it this way because he at least has a key to his work and can go inside. I don't have a key to my own office).

I know I should have talked it through with him tonight, so we could try to reschedule, and I didn't think to. That's on me. But what the fuck. I don't understand how he thought this was a good idea, or why it was apparently so fucking hard for him to just ask if there were any other days available and try to schedule something that worked with the obligations we already have instead of doing...this. There's no reason for us to have to fucking do this. We're not gonna die if we go one or two extra days without the other fucking car. I mean, we're not gonna die from this, either, but it's inconvenient and annoying and it doesn't make any sense.

SA

[(Anonymous)]

*before tonight.

Re: I just need to vent

[(Anonymous)]

I get you, anon. I too have a partner who often ends up inconveniencing himself or me because he doesn't really think through the consequences of his actions. They're not life or death things, but... you know, I'm a lazy person. I don't like it when someone makes a boneheaded decision that costs me more work just because they didn't take that into consideration first.

A advice... don't let these things stew. It seems trivial, yes. But years and years of trivial bullshit can kill a relationship just as effectively one major thing. It kills the affection and respect you have for your partner with layers of resentment. I know this from firsthand experience: you do NOT want to get to the point where you're examining your partner's every action for signs that they're being a selfish jerk. Because you'll find them and it'll be nearly impossible to continue in a loving, healthy relationship.

Wait till you're calm and try to stay that way. Be honest and very specific in how you'd like situations like this to be handled in the future. Try not to get personal or accusative, no matter how justified that is or how much you want it. Lay out the action, point out the resulting negative consequences, and then state how those negative consequences might have been avoided. The way through this is with clear communication.

And if he does more stupid shit like this, he takes the burden of the fallout. In this case it's not possible due to your work situations, but be clear: you're taking the hit for his lack of forethought, and that's not fair.