fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3097 ]

[ SECRET POST #3097 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3097 ⌋

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People not knowing the difference between being childfree and hating children - ironically on both sides.

- Just because I don't want kids doesn't mean I don't like them. I actually really like them. But I'm impatient, need lots of alone time, and am not good with sudden changes or chaos. ME WITH KIDS IS A BAD IDEA.

- However, this also doesn't mean I'm going to agree with you that the kid who innocently said "hi" to you at the grocery store was a heathen and EW KIDS ARE GROSS AND SCARY AND STOP LOOKING AT ME. She didn't say "give me your money or give me your life." She said "hi." Get over it.

Seriously. I don't want kids for a few reasons (some similar to yours and some because I wouldn't wish my bad health on anyone), but I love infants. I think they're adorable and I could happily hold and squish and look after them all the time.

Though it's annoying when someone sees me holding someone's baby and they're all, "OH SO YOU DO WANT KIDS!!!" No, I just happen to like infants. Their needs are usually simple and you know most of the time right away if you're doing something wrong with them.

I'm childfree and I dislike kids, but I don't think one necessitates the other. Both happen to apply to me. IA too many people think they're the same thing.

Yeah this. I think kids are gear and awesome and cute. But I don't want one. I have a horrible temper, need loads of alone time, I'm busy with work and don't like people on a personal level much. Putting a child on me is a bad idea. Granted if my folks died is take my lil sis on board and do my best but it's not something I'd purely enjoy.

But there's no way I'm gonna hang around someone who hates a child. Like wtf children are just dumb tiny things like any other baby animal. Relax.

Would you refuse to hang around someone who hates dogs?

I think it's completely fair to hate something or hate being around something as long as you don't go hurt it or something. Most people who hate children don't hate That Child in Particular Personally, they just vehemently don't want to be around children in general, similar to people who hate dogs.

The ones that take it to wanting children to die and keep talking about wanting to hurt them go beyond hate and into malicious intent or desire to abuse

I think there's a difference between disliking being around children and just flat out hating children themselves. I don't mind hanging out with people who are the former, but most people I've met who are the latter were kind of disturbing in the way they talked about how awful all children are tbh.

Most of the people I've met who hate kids say something like "kids are awful and annoying and whiny and noisy, I hate them" but what they really mean is they hate being around them because that's the only time the traits they complain about would matter. Aside from very crazy people who call themselves "childfree" but are in reality more like "anti-children" who call people "breeders" and idiotic stuff like that, I've never met a normal person who said "I hate children" and seriously meant "I think children should be abolished"

What I mean is if someone is gonna stand there talking about the evils of children or whatever I'm not gonna hang around. There's like a major differences between going "I don't like dogs/children and don't want one" and moving on with the conversation versus someone like Peeve!op mentions that goes on and on because a kid said hi to them.

And tbh I would tolerate someone who /hates/ dogs way more than someone who /hates/ children. Marginally.

I've never had anyone come up to me and try to get me to listen to them rant about children, idk how realistic it is to believe this is a thing that occurs with any regularity in the general public. Someone ranting on their personal journal about something that bothered them today in a hyperbolic manner, which it sounds like that was, is much different from going on and on about it at random in a conversation they are having with you

The only times I've heard people IRL bring up hating kids is when a baby is crying in a theater or restaurant or something to cause a disturbance

I would really hope it isn't something that would happen with regularity in the general public!

But I would apply it to both OL and IRL. I'm not saying I'll drop you like a hot rock if you say "goddamn children are evil" over little suzie crying all night, but if it's a repetitive pattern of speech focussed around disliking children and them just being children? I'm gonna....distance myself over here and bye.

It's a pet peeve, not a hard and fast rule ;P

_{Okay using terms like breeder will get me to drop you like a hot rock just cause that's a horrible term imo}

Original anon - What you're saying is what I really had in mind, yeah. And no, people who actively hate children aren't the norm, but I've definitely seen it online and have to assume they at least sometimes venture into the real world, meaning they're offline too. You could of course argue it might not be often, if they have that much trouble grasping that children do exist... then again, look at how many horrible adults you hear about. I don't mean horrible in the criminal sense, just horror stories about adults who seemed to go out of their way to be terrible to kids they encountered.

I agree "breeder" is a disgusting term. It also makes no sense, because breeding's kind of an important part of being in the animal kingdom...

Holy shit, yeah. Some childfree people act like if a child just dares to be within sight of them that some right of theirs has been trampled on.

And fuck, the other day I was on a CF board, and a woman was complaining about going to "Inside Out" with her SO and there being children in the theater. Lady, you went to a fucking kids' movie.

Anyway, yes, I agree with you. You don't have to hate children to not want them. Also, sometimes the hate is ridiculous.

if you want to watch a kids' movie but don't like being in a theater with a lot of kids, wait for the damn video to come out!

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[ SECRET POST #3097 ]

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