fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3099 ]

[ SECRET POST #3099 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3099 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 054 secrets from Secret Submission Post #443.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Has anyone ever almost, or definitively, lost a friendship/relationship over a misunderstanding, either on your part or theirs?

Possibly but I don't care enough to go around second guessing lost friendships. They're done and gone, the hurt or betrayal is still there and we would never be what we once were.

Kind of. I had a friend who had been rubbing me the wrong way for a while with her political posts, among other non-political things I took issue with. Finally I saw she'd posted an article I thought read: "Why miscarriage matters more when you're pro-life."

I flipped out on her, because in fact we had a mutual friend who had miscarried, and I pointed out that I knew full well she had pro-choice friends who'd miscarried. Then I unfriended her at last.

... then I read the article and realized it never said "more." It was just "why miscarriage matters when you're pro-life." I have no idea why I thought there was a "more" there.

So not exactly a misunderstanding, and the friendship was already coming to a close. But I do feel bad that I read what I expected to read, basically, and ended it on a false basis. (Sort of. The implications aren't much better even without the "more.")

No, you were STILL right to be mad at her even if the article didn't include the word "more."

The very title "why miscarriages matters WHEN you're pro-life" implies that it doesn't matter when you're pro-choice. That pro-choice women couldn't possibly care in the first place and that miscarriage only has an emotional impact when you're pro-life.

And that's a fucking shitty thing to say.

AYRT - Thanks, and you're right. I mean, our friend is pro-choice and her miscarriage was beyond devastating. And this wasn't a distant friend, the other friend who posted it was very present for it and one of the ones doing the comforting and offering support. So it's not like she didn't know full well. (Although she'd also miscarried before, which was why I always tried to be understanding. AT the same time, implying she suffered more than other people... yeah.)

Eh, the article sounds pretty douchey still. Like miscarriages DON'T matter to people who aren't pro-life?

Of course.

What they said was "I'd love to help with the group project but it might take a while, I'm just so busy right now"
What we took away was "they want to do this but are occupied with important things they cannot get out of"
What they meant was "you guys are the very bottom of my priority list and the things I was busy with was rping yaois"

Misunderstandings!

Yeah, but it was so dumb on their part that it didn't feel like much of a loss. They had a habit of being really touchy over any criticism whatsoever, real or perceived and they'd cut people off completely without giving anyone any time to clarify the misunderstanding. This was chat room based and they were the mod (a really bad mod), so they booted people off and banned them at the drop of a hat. The ban wasn't usually permanent, so they'd expect you to come crawling back and everyone would pretend nothing had happened. Even when it was the mod's fault, there would be no apologies and no mention of it... but of course, the second you stepped out of line, it was another ban.

Though I had fun with that group, it was just too much work for a friendship. They had mental health issues they were not working on and thought nothing of taking it out on everyone else. I'd had enough.

Recently I was hanging out with a former coworker I hadn't seen or heard from in a few years, only for him to pull the "this is weird, but I thought of this as a date" thing. I told him I'm not interested in dating, which is true, but what I didn't tell him is that I'm definitely not interested in dating someone who won't even say the word. Haven't heard from him since. I'm torn between pissed because dude, if you were telling the truth about wanting friends to hang out with, I'm fine with that, just not with dating, and relieved because I don't need a "friend" whose friendship goes poof when I'm not romantically interested in him.

Seems fair to me. If someone wants to date you, they should have the guts to ask you out on a date instead of trying to ambush it on you. I have no idea why guys think they can ninja-date someone without taking any risk of rejection but it's weird and immature.

Yep.

On occasion, sometimes on their part (like they think I'm pissed off at them and are afraid to even say anything to me. Admittedly, with as bad/frightening of a temper as I've been told I have, plus the fact I can go Ice Cold Shoulder Queen at the drop of a hat, I don't blame them. It's something I'm trying to work on) and sometimes on mine, though in instances with me, I usually think they're annoyed at me for something I said, and I just don't bother talking to them again for a long time, if ever. :/

Yes, kind of.

What I thought: We're best friends! I can tell her anything and she can tell me anything! Our 11-year-long friendship has withstood the tests of time! She understands me in a way no one else does! Yay!

What she thought: We're friends, but I don't really need that kind of close connection with her. She can tell me whatever she wants and I'll listen (until I'm no longer interested, in which case I'll just ignore her), but that's as far as it goes. I don't need to tell her anything personal because I already have someone who I can talk to about those kinds of things. I'm more of a loner anyway.

What happened: We managed to stay roommates for about a year, she started ignoring me at around the halfway point, our friendship became strained and then, once other circumstances forced us to move out separately, I barely heard from her. We talk rarely and see each other even less. =\

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[ SECRET POST #3099 ]

Misunderstanding

Re: Misunderstanding

TW: Abortion and miscarriage

Re: TW: Abortion and miscarriage

Re: TW: Abortion and miscarriage

Re: TW: Abortion and miscarriage

Re: Misunderstanding

Re: Misunderstanding

Re: Misunderstanding

Re: Misunderstanding

Re: Misunderstanding

Re: Misunderstanding

Re: Misunderstanding