fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3102 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3102 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Zack and Miri Make a Porno]

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03.

[Video Games Awesome]

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04.

[Steven Universe]

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05.

[House MD]

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06.

[Blazing Saddles]

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07.

[My Love Story]

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08.

[Gordon Ramsay, Kitchen Nightmares]

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09.

[Robert Vaughn, Jack Lemmon, William Shatner]

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10.

[MMOs]

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11.

[Death Note]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 019 secrets from Secret Submission Post #443.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

^^^^

The last chapter I recapped left off with Sakura being kidnapped by Papa Shin and Shin demanding that Sakura save him with his child's organs. Okay, so!

Naruto, Sasuke, and the kids go to Orochimaru's hideout to see what's up. Oro plays coy but Sasuke says some guy attacked his daughter and kidnapped his wife, so he'd better just explain himself. Oro goes on a rant about genetics and why he's still a creepy S.O.B. (They've been doing experiments with DNA) Turns out Shin is just a rogue experiment by Oro and he'd love for them to off him. Shin ripped out all his teeth and Oro used them to clone him the baby Shins so he could use their bodies to stay young/healthy blahblah.

Sarada gets an idea and sneaks off when no one is looking to ask Suigetsu to do a DNA test for her. Suigetsu, giving no fucks about what Karin thinks, goes through her belongings and finds an umbilical cord in a box he assumes is hers. He runs the DNA from the cord with Sarada's, and bam instant drama-100 percent match! Suigetsu proclaims Karin the mother and slinks off feeling only slightly guilty. Naruto awkwardly tries to console a crying Sarada, but she activates her Sharingan and tells him to sit and spin. Naruto then goes TnJ about how Iruka was like his dad and Sarada's memories are what make Sakura her mother. (Tons of flashbacks to Sakura caring for her when she was sick, cooking for her, giving her an Itachi tap, etc)

With that settled they go and find Sasuke, who apparently has been dimension hopping looking for the 'But wait! There's more!" villain Kaguya was afraid of because his eye powers conveniently come back. (Chakra charges) Oro tells Sasuke there's no rush because Sakura is probably dead anyway. Sasuke says his wife isn't a weak person and Naruto, Sasuke, and the kids bamp to Shin's hideout. Sakura starts fighting Shin but ends up getting some knives in her arm that stun her. Sasuke shows up and crushes Shin with Susanoo and then takes the knives out of Sakura's arm/burns them for whatever reason.

A dying Shin then makes two ditch efforts. The first is to steal the kids for organs, which is stopped by Sarada giving no fucks and pounding fingers into the ground. With a hilarious plot exposition, Shin announces the death of fingers. Poor teleporting blob monster! The second is to rely on the Shins, but not before Shin has the time to say Et Tu Brute? do the Onion Shins turn on him. They proclaim themselves the future and tell him he's no longer useful. And as it turns out, they've been cloning themselves because a ridiculous amount come out of nowhere-and I mean ridiculous. There's skinny ones, fat ones, ones that are as big as a house. Christ.

Sakura tells Sarada to get back and says she'll protect her, but Sarada is having none of this and jumps over her mother's head and awakens Sakura's strength somehow? Despite Tsunade teaching it to her? Ah who knows with Kishi.

The final chapter starts with Naruto TnJ the Shin's into submission, with a little scare tactic from Kurama. Sasuke complains about Naruto just letting them off easy and Naruto assures him they'll be fine with this guy...who turns out to be Priest Kabuto. Kabuto is now head of a war orphanage and tells all the Shins that he is now their new father and he'll be naming them all shortly. (Good luck with that buddy)

ChouChou then fangirls Sarada and Sakura runs over and hugs her. She then tells Sarada she knows everything, and yes, she is 100% her child. Sarada then tells her she doesn't care anymore, because their memories connect their hearts. Sasuke looks away and Sarada asks if his heart is truly connected to her mother's. He says his famous catchphrase 'Yeah' and she yells at him, asking how he's so sure. Sasuke says it's because they (Sakura and Sasuke) had Sarada that he knows.

They all go back home and the real drama of this manga is resoled. ChouChou finds her father! Finally, it's over! Turns out she mistakes skinny Chouji for some really cool guy and demands he teach her how to do it (The joke being she only doesn't know because she skips training to eat sweets with Anko)

The Uchihas then have a family dinner and Sasuke sets off again. But not before hugging Sarada and leaving Sakura with blue ovaries after she hands him an Uchiha bento box.

In yet another lazy exposition dump by Kishi, Karin shows up back at the hideout and yells at Suigetsu. It turns out Karin is not the mother after all and the cord belonged to Sarada. Sakura had traveled with Sasuke for a while and gotten pregnant, and then because she refused to leave his side she had to give birth at Karin's hideout/Karin helped deliver Sarada. Suigetsu then taunts Karin about having the cord, since it must mean she's still fangirling Sasuke. Karin replies that she just wants him to be happy and women can be friends blahblah.

Naruto officially ends with Sarada smiling and a new family photo of Sasuke, Sakura, and sarada with the caption:What's reflected is the real deal, 'Love'.

The end~!!

Forgot the small part with Sarada and Boruto. Sarada has now decided her dream is to become Hokage and Boruto pouts like the entitled little shit he is and tells her it's lame.

priest kabuto running an orphanage? whaaaat

so much about this is so freaking weird. wtf @ karin just keeping some other kid's umbilical cord as a memento for over a decade. why even.

For the same reason she kept Sasuke's bloody/sweaty ripped clothing. She's a freak lol

Oh. Oh my God. I don't even have the words to say how ridiculous this whole thing is. It was a fun ride while we thought Karin was the real mom, though. I want to say so many things (like seriously, so so many), but instead I'll have to laugh at it because damn. The man has good ideas, bad writting, and worse asspulls at the end. Damn, Kishi.

At least we got cute Sarada out of this huge clusterfuck.

Thanks for the summaries, naruto!anon! Will you sumarize some other manga in the future? Or maybe the Boruto movie?

Edited 2015-07-03 05:42 (UTC)

Glad to be helpful! And sure, I'll do the Boruto movie. Should be...interesting. We already know she smacks Himawari's cake out of Hinata's hands because he's mad at Naruto. More Kishi flavored drama to come, I'm sure! :p

[ SECRET POST #3102 ]

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