case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2015-07-02 08:33 pm

[ SECRET POST #3102 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3102 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Zack and Miri Make a Porno]


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03.
[Video Games Awesome]


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04.
[Steven Universe]


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05.
[House MD]


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06.
[Blazing Saddles]


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07.
[My Love Story]


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08.
[Gordon Ramsay, Kitchen Nightmares]


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09.
[Robert Vaughn, Jack Lemmon, William Shatner]


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10.
[MMOs]


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11.
[Death Note]









Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 019 secrets from Secret Submission Post #443.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Every one in this thread needs to understand somthing

(Anonymous) 2015-07-03 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
The idea that men (i)need(/i) sexual attention is a myth spread my other men. They don't need it, they desire it so that they feel that they can compete with their peers, so in a very real sense "cockteasing" is also a myth.

Re: Every one in this thread needs to understand somthing

(Anonymous) 2015-07-03 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
I agree that they don't need it but I think they desire it less so that they can compete with their peers and more as part of the, you know, normal human desire for a happy, fulfilling life with both emotional and physical intimacy? I guess?

I realize that makes it sound less like a gigantic trap or something

Re: Every one in this thread needs to understand somthing

(Anonymous) 2015-07-03 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
WHAT? Men also like being connected to people emotionally? LIES!

Re: Every one in this thread needs to understand somthing

[personal profile] herpymcderp 2015-07-03 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
Uh, no. Sexual people be they men or women do require sexual attention. It's a basic human need.

It doesn't mean it's uncontrollable or it's going to kill someone if they don't have sex or whatever, and it certainly doesn't excuse shitty behaviour, but unless you are specifically referring to asexuals who are repulsed by sex, claiming that a person or group of people don't have needs is just fundamentally wrong. And also pretty negative, really.

Sex and sexuality is fine and normal! You don't need to paint people with the big ol' socialization brush just because that makes you uncomfortable.

Re: Every one in this thread needs to understand somthing

(Anonymous) 2015-07-03 04:26 am (UTC)(link)
so, you target asexuals too?

Re: Every one in this thread needs to understand somthing

[personal profile] herpymcderp 2015-07-03 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not targeting anyone. Go troll elsewhere.
diet_poison: (Default)

I'm probably going to regret this, but...

[personal profile] diet_poison 2015-07-03 06:05 am (UTC)(link)
...can you elaborate?

like you said, you will not die if you don't have sex. Under what rationale are you classing it as a basic human need? Especially considering that many people, not just (some) asexual people, don't really care about sex, so it also sounds really dismissive.
ill_omened: (Default)

Re: I'm probably going to regret this, but...

[personal profile] ill_omened 2015-07-03 02:48 pm (UTC)(link)
I mean, you can survive in a six by six concrete box with the same food everyday and no stimulation. That doesn't mean that better conditions than that are a need for a psychologically healthy happy life. That some tiny number of people who due to their own biological quirks aren't negatively impacted by the lack of it doesn't change the importance of those needs.
diet_poison: (Default)

Re: I'm probably going to regret this, but...

[personal profile] diet_poison 2015-07-03 05:29 pm (UTC)(link)
I think it's more than a tiny number of people. And I think it's very dismissive to imply otherwise. Lots of people are perfectly psychologically healthy without sex, INCLUDING some people who are not asexual.

(As for the rest, it's splitting hairs. But I will not use the phrase "basic human need" to describe anything other than food, water, oxygen, waste removal, and so forth.)

Re: I'm probably going to regret this, but...

(Anonymous) 2015-07-03 06:00 pm (UTC)(link)
This. Sex is important to a lot of people, but I definitely wouldn't compare lacking it to being put in fucking solitary confinement or being deprived of essential needs like food or water. I'm not asexual and have a fairly high libido, but I do perfectly fine without sex when I have to (it's not like I can't just masturbate)

Re: I'm probably going to regret this, but...

[personal profile] herpymcderp 2015-07-03 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm counting it as a social need. Humans are social creatures. We undergo irreparable psychological damage if you isolate us from people (to say nothing of what happens to our nervous systems if you isolate us from all stimulation). It's not a mistake that there are groups attempting to have solitary confinement classified as a form of torture.

I qualified my previous statement as one applying to sexual people, although I didn't really feel the need to mention that it obviously varies according to general libido. For people who are sexual, a lack of sex, affection, and intimacy contributes to physiological and psychological issues.

When a lack of something has a deleterious affect on a person, I would count that as a basic need.
diet_poison: (Default)

Re: I'm probably going to regret this, but...

[personal profile] diet_poison 2015-07-05 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
I guess my definition of "basic need" is different. We don't need sex to survive. Our bodies will not cease to function without it.

Even in the context of a social need, that's weird...I mean I don't think it's a stretch to say many people go for long periods of time without sex and don't have severe psychological consequences.

I don't have much concrete to offer other than anecdata, but I have never had sex and I am definitely not asexual, and I don't feel a huge lack nor do I think I'm suffering psychologically because of it. I'm kind of confused as to how it's supposed to be "deleterious" to be honest. Also lumping in sex with affection and intimacy is extra weird because it is 100% possible to experience the latter two without sex.

I just think your attitude here feels very limiting and ignores a great deal of nuance in human experience. And I'll be honest, it's really offputting to me that it feels like my experience doesn't really count to you. I know I am not the only one who is sexual but currently abstaining (peoples' reasons will vary) and am in a perfectly healthy place.

Re: I'm probably going to regret this, but...

[personal profile] herpymcderp 2015-07-05 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
As I said, the extent to which an individual is affected by a lack of sex (or physical affection, either of those) does vary but its effects are pretty well documented.

Actually if you want to get really deep into the psychology of sex, the less sex a person has the less the detrimental effects of not having sex (i.e. psychological damage) tend to occur. To give a parallel example, it might also be said that the less friends a person has the less a person tends to be damaged by a lack of social interaction, however it doesn't stop us from classifying time with friends as a social need since we frequently find cases where damage does occur.

No one is ever saying that all people everywhere have the exact same social needs. What is always true is that social needs are basic needs in that when they are unfulfilled there can be consequences to brain activity.

I'm sorry you took this personally, but it was never personal.

Re: Every one in this thread needs to understand somthing

(Anonymous) 2015-07-03 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
tell that to porno that exists and you big guys with child. it all fucking taboo and condescending.

and yeah, if one men were 'good' then go ask the other guy(s) even with the unknown one. beside between guys, everything are 'rogue'.

Re: Every one in this thread needs to understand somthing

(Anonymous) 2015-07-03 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?????

Re: Every one in this thread needs to understand somthing

(Anonymous) 2015-07-03 05:51 am (UTC)(link)
hey! don't be mean to the nonsensical poster, just because their posts are almost entirely indecipherable

they're a national treasure
diet_poison: (Default)

Re: Every one in this thread needs to understand somthing

[personal profile] diet_poison 2015-07-03 06:06 am (UTC)(link)
...AYRT could actually be ESL.

Re: Every one in this thread needs to understand somthing

(Anonymous) 2015-07-03 06:39 am (UTC)(link)
yeah, *SARCASM*. big time...

thank you for your time.