fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3103 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3103 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Guardians of the Galaxy]

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[Lawrence of Arabia]

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[Grimm]

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08. [SPOILERS for Hannibal]

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09. [SPOILERS for Buffy the Vampire Slayer]

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10. [WARNING for non-con/underage]

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11. [repeat]

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12. [WARNING for rape]

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13. [WARNING for rape]

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14. [WARNING for abuse]

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15. [WARNING for rape]

[Mad Max: Fury Road]

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16. [WARNING for rape]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #443.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Today I was picking out new movies to watch. I came across "Chicks Dig Gay Guys".
Surely not, I thought. Oh, but yes. It's exactly what it seems like.
Basically the entire plot is about a dudebro who pretends to be gay to attract girls. Then he meets the perfect girl and hilarrrrity ensues.

This isn't the first time I've encountered things like this in the media.
(For example, in "House M.D." episode The Down Low, titular character House and his friend Wilson pretend to be a gay couple, so they can get closer to their female neighbor who they both have a crush on.
However, this only helps to illustrate House's and Wilson's relationship with each other, and their plan of course fails.
The objective here isn't to show that "yeah guys, you should totally do this" and the episode makes it pretty clear that what they're doing is not okay towards the female character.)

I'm going to be honest. "Chicks Dig Gay Guys" really pissed me off.

At one of my old jobs, I befriended a gay guy - let's say his name is Greg.
Although I was good at my job, and although I was very social and outgoing, people just didn't take a shine to me.
People didn't exactly treat me bad, but I was mostly left-out of things.
I became somewhat aloof and began throwing myself into work, which in turn made me bossy because I wanted at least some form of validation that I belonged in that workplace. I admit, I became a very annoying over-achiever.
Enter Greg. He was overweight and average looking, but that didn't matter, because he had an amazing personality.
Him being gay and me also being queer, not to mention lonely, we instantly clicked.
He was chatty, social and fun - exactly like I used to be. Slowly but surely, I started to relax. I became fun again. I guess happiness attracts others, because others started to take more interest in us.
Very early in our friendship, Greg had become kinda... handsy. He'd caress my back, would put his arm on my shoulders. Sometimes he even put his hand on my waist. I've never been comfortable with physical contact - I hate it when people touch me, always have. But I dismissed my own discomfort, because he was gay. What's the harm, right?
It didn't take long for me to find out, that despite his effeminate mannerisms and gay public persona which he continued to take up to eleven, he wasn't really gay. Not only was he straight, he was a newlywed. Him being married didn't stop him from trying to get with me though...
Of course I was really hurt and offended, so I distanced myself from him. Of course, the funny guy got new friends quickly while the cold bitch got what she deserved. Thankfully I got headhunted for a different job, so I left and never looked back.
We never saw each other again, but the damage was done and still affects me to this day.

I don't trust men anymore. I don't let other people casually touch me anymore (which is problematic when you're in a relationship and the other person wants to cuddle) because I don't like it. Even my other gay friends, who I've been friends with for years and who I'd gladly protect with my life, don't get to touch me other than the occasional brief hug.

You know how you have those former friends that you still think about fondly from time to time? This wasn't like that.

What I thought was an awesome friendship turned out to be fake and completely one-sided. That shit hurts, man...

Does anyone else have a similiar story that happened to them personally or someone they know?

(btw here's a link to an interview done by the guy who did the movie:
http://www.brobible.com/entertainment/article/chicks-dig-gay-guys-interview/
fyi I don't exactly despise him, all things considered he seems pretty down-to-earth, but his ass is on my shitlist for the time being and the movie can go to hell)

This does not surprise me at all considering that pretending to be something to get laid seems to be a popular thing for many men. This is somewhat more horrifying but still not surprising.

op

Yup! Just look at redpill and boards/forums with similar themes.

Did he say he was gay? Or was his gay public persona based on how he acted?

op

He said he was gay.

Yeah. I was pretty pissed, took a taxi home and cut off all contact. Dude apparently didn't get what he did wrong.

op

I'm sorry that happened to you. *hugs*

I don't trust men anymore

I think you;ve come out of this experience with a great benefit.

Oh you.

They're like a damn cuckoo clock, popping up on the hour, every hour, with the same annoying cuckoo comment.

Wow, hello 1998, I've missed you

op

lol

where do you find these??

I can't say I've ever been in this situation, since I'm pretty much the only super fruity guy I know regardless of orientation, but that sounds really depressing. :(

You should have told him you were uncomfortable with his being handsy from the moment it started though. Some people don't have enough manners to understand touching people without permission is rude as balls.

op

The thing is, I did say I didn't like it a couple of times, but he pretty much "forgot" about it and kept doing it. I now realize he knew exactly what he was doing.
I feel like he used his "gayness" as a shield, as a way to make me feel like he was entitled to my body because, after all, he didn't mean anything by it. We're just friends!

He made me feel like I was overreacting, so I ignored my own wishes.

I think Greg has bigger problems than pretending to be gay, including having no respect for his marriage vows, no respect for others' boundaries, and being a potentially sociopathic piece of shit who uses his charms to take advantage of other people.

This may sound like I'm prematurely judging, but Greg sounds exactly like someone who pulled that kind of crap on my own circle of friends years ago. It nearly tore us all apart.

Set boundaries, but please don't judge all men by this one shitty specimen.

op

Yeah, I'm pretty convinced Greg is a sociopath.

I'm sorry you went through something similar. I hope you're better now.

I don't judge people until I get to know them, but I will never trust a man again. I can't help it, it's just a feeling I get in the pit of my stomach. You can't... change how you feel, y'know?
(It's definitely taken it's toll on me dating guys. Luckily I also go out with women, so there's that.)

I've never had that specific scenario happen to me, but I have had friends who believe in "friendship of convenience". Like they will only be palsy with you if you work with the, or go to school with them. It still boggles my mind that people like this exist.

[ SECRET POST #3103 ]

Pretending to be gay?

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