fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3110 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3110 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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11. [SPOILERS for Fire Emblem Fates]

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12. [WARNING for rape]

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13. [WARNING for rape]

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14. [WARNING for bestiality]

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15. [WARNING for rape]

[Fire Emblem Fates]

Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, practice makes perfect.

Can't reason with people who are angry anyway, so no use trying. I feel like I've reached a weird zen space of no longer being angry, just sad. I thought being an orphan would get easier as an adult but nope. I tried really hard to make stronger ties to the rest of my family but it didn't really work the way I was hoping it would, because they'd much rather have free babysitting/cleaning/cooking/tax filing than a meaningful relationship.

I moved in with this woman for a month to take care of her after a knee replacement, but I get sick and I'm not even important enough for her to pretend to care for five minutes over the phone. That's depressing. There's suspecting that nobody loves you and then there's having it confirmed in great detail.

At that rate, I wonder what would happen if you just told her, a minute or two in, "That's enough; I'm not listening to this" and smacked the phone back into the cradle. I mean, it looks like these are people whose main interest in you is as a free provider of services--they certainly don't seem as if they're to be relied on when you're in need yourself--so how much worse could things get if you told them to put a sock in it?

I don't know. I've always assumed the world would start turning backwards and humans would revert to walking on all fours.

I'd probably feel guilty about it afterwards, too. I have to learn how to unlove people who treat me like crap. Thank god I'm not interested in romantic relationships. This does not bode well for that area.

Anyway, I have a panic attack every time I lose my temper. My brain made some sort of weird Pavlovian time loop where I associate talking back to someone with getting the absolute shit beat out of me, so I yell and then immediately retreat and cry hysterically. It's real intimidating, I'm sure. Now I'm curious to see if it can happen over the phone. Anyone want to play 'poke the ptsd'? :/

You don't have to "unlove" people who treat you like crap. But you can choose to not be around them, for the sake of your own mental health. You can recognize that these people have their own shortcomings, that perhaps they are not capable of giving you the love and support that you deserve. I think it's okay to walk away in that situation, or greatly limit any interaction or frequency of, especially when you've hung on this long and/or have tried everything else.

ayrt

That sounds terrible. but I think other anon, right above this comment, has given some good advice: you don't have to unlove these people, you can still love them and recognize that they're harmful to you right now--and loving them doesn't mean you have a duty to listen to them rant at you until they've pushed your last available button and you've lost your temper. You don't have to feel guilty about simply disengaging--and it's best to disengage before they push you over the edge--to tell them (in the most amiable way possible) "I don't have to listen to this; call me back when you're capable of having a civil discussion and not before." That's not losing your temper; it's not stooping to their level; it's just standing up for yourself.

Though I think it might be very hard to do that, because it sounds like they've done their best to teach you that when they scream at you, their anger is natural and just and you should apologize; but when you stand up for yourself, you're selfish and childish and you should apologize. I don't know how you get away from that, but I hope you can, because you don't deserve the kind of treatment it seems you're getting.

[ SECRET POST #3110 ]

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