fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3114 ]

[ SECRET POST #3114 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3114 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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You find out someone with whom you're on positive terms (a friend, coworker, etc.) said something nasty about you behind your back. When you see or speak to them next, how do you act? Do you straight-up tell them you know or just let it go ~~like Elsa~~?

I act more distant and reserved, but still outwardly polite.

+2

I'll likely also slowly distance myself and consider that friendship dead.

It depends on the gravity, but yeah.

If it's a friend, I'd straight-up tell them. For acquaintances or coworkers I might just start ignoring them.

I'd probably stop speaking to them (as far as possible) without being blatantly rude/nasty. But it depends how bad the thing they said was, whether it was actually true, etc. If they were spreading lies I'd be more likely to confront them.

I've had that happen to me, anon. It sucks. :(

Unless it was something really awful I'd try and let it slide - people get annoyed and say shit they don't mean. Let's face it, we've all done it, and we'd all feel terrible if that person happened to be in the room or become otherwise privy to it.

As for how I respond , if I think it truly signifies an underlying issue, I try at least asking them if there's anything they need to talk about, although I've had people flat out deny that anything's amiss, so. But if there's no reason to believe it necessarily means there's a problem, let it go. It was shitty, and it's not easy to just blow off, but you can't be mad at people for being human.

IAWTC in its entirety.

Depends entirely on what it was for me. If it's just harmless venting about stupid shit, then I don't care. Everyone gets on everyone's nerves sometimes, vents about it, and carries on. It doesn't mean that the friend/coworker isn't still a friend, if that's the case.

As others, stay polite in daily interactions But I won't go out of my way to talk with them. Emotionally, I'd mull over it, weigh up our history together ie do they talk rudely about other ppl to me for no reason versus out of frustration (eg. Telling me you think A is a dick vs "A is driving me up the wall today). Then I'd make my decision to distance self and how much I'm going to distance. From less invested but everything interactive is usual to complete cut off.

If I'm 100% sure because you overheard them yourself and there is no mistaking the context (secondhand gossip is suspect) then I'm civil but a touch cooler than I might be to a stranger. If they ask me what's up, I'll be straight with them that I heard them talking shit but I'm going to keep things professional.

But no way do I forgive and forget and they better hope they never need a favor from me ever again.

Depends on exactly what was said. If I found someone was going around accusing me of pedophilia there would be public words and possibly a visit to my lawyer.

If someone said I was an asshole for some minor thing, I lol and carry on and avoid talking to them personally.

It depends on a lot of variables: how positive are those terms to begin with? Are we venting buddies, or closer friends? And what exactly was said? How long has it been going on? I'd also add how it was said, too. I once worked at an office where two of my coworkers decided to start gossiping about me (and other coworkers) on gchat during worktime, and that really sucked because they wouldn't stop, not even after polite requests.

In the past, my policy with this sort of thing was to just ignore it and win by being awesome. At this point in my life, though, I'm done with letting people get away with stupid bullshit like that, and I'd probably take the problem to a higher-up in the office if a polite request to quit it was ignored. If it was a one-time occurrence, I'd probably let it slide, although I might look at that coworker differently afterwards.

Couldn't you all have gone to the office boss about the 2 gossipy co-workers? It was causing problems with the morale of the workers.

By the time I learned about this gossip stuff, I had less than 2 weeks left in the job, and my coworkers (one of them in particular) were annoyed that I was basically setting my own schedule (because there was almost nothing for me to do at that point, hence the ending of the job.) Plus, the big boss had proven himself to be unhelpful once before. ("You can take care of this yourself!") So at that point, I was so disgusted with the whole thing that I just left without doing any further confronting or blaming. :p

Depends on what the comment was. Something small I would probably feel bad about, but hey, we're human; no one's perfect and pleasant 100% of the time. In a situation where the comment wasn't huge I would probably not mention it; might be distant for a bit, but I would get over it quickly enough.

Now if the comments were something that seriously offend or disgust me, then we would probably have words or I would start pulling away from that person.

Probably polite and friendly to a certain extent but will never trust them again with anything remotely personal. Probably only interact with them if it is work related too. Man that sucks.

I'm surprised no one's said this, but if you happen to check back on this thread, depending on what was said about me I'd also take a moment to consider whether it was warranted. Did you do something that was insensitive? Could there have been a build up of resentment?

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[ SECRET POST #3114 ]

This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general

Re: This does apply to me, but keeping in general