fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3130 ]

[ SECRET POST #3130 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3130 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Will.i.am and Miriam Margoyles on the Graham Norton show]

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03.

[One Direction]

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04.

[George Takei, Bruce Lee]

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05.

[Tales From the Borderlands]

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06.

[The 100]

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07.

[Sense8]

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08.

[Genshiken Nidaime]

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09.

[Lawrence of Arabia]

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10.

[Doctor Zhivago]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 015 secrets from Secret Submission Post #447.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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03. http://i.imgur.com/jcMO1Dz.png
[One Direction]

If the fandom is exclusionary, they are the assholes not you.

They're mostly ninth-graders, so... yes, they're assholes. Duh. Anything to suggest other than "If they were laughing you don't need them 'cause they're not good friends"?

NAYRT

What kind of answer are you looking for here? It's great that they changed your life, for whatever reason, but they're a shitty boy band with mostly shallow, immature fans. Nothing you do or say to them is really going to change that. Why not start conversations about your weight loss and how great your writing is going instead? That's something people your age are going to care about. None of these 1D fans give a shit that you were inspired to do something productive; they care whether or not Harry and Louis might've secretly kissed backstage one time.

Just to clarify, the comment you replied to was not made by me. I'm looking for advice, not to snap at people. :)

Also, I do have friends and colleagues I talk to about the weight loss (and to some extent about the book, although I like to keep the details of it to myself for now, afraid to jinx it). And I work in video games so "people my age" are just as silly and immature as I can be, just not about boybands. They'd all look at me with pity/incomprehension if I started squeeing about 1D in front of them, which is what makes me feel so isolated.

(but yeah, the Larry shippers are actually a big part of why I'm so afraid to dip into fandom. I'm slashing pretty much the entire band with each other, but they're not supposed to know about it, dear god!)

I'm not saying they are, though. I'm just terrified of making the first step for some reason, probably because my carefree fandom years where a good 15 years ago and I've forgotten how to "do" fandom, especially not a fandom that intense.

Also I guess I don't know how to go about making it abundantly clear that I'm 34 so I never end up getting friendly with teenagers without them realizing the age-gap...

I also like them, but I'm not part of the fandom either. I'd love to talk to you about them though...

I'd be thrilled to have someone to talk about them with!! ... I'm just not sure how to go about this since we're both anon and posting my ID here would kind of defeat the purpose of the community. :s

I'm glad that the band has helped life turn around for you, OP. When I got into them a little over a year ago, they did the same for me.

The fandom is definitely intense and skews quite young in some pockets (especially on twitter), but if you ever wanted to dip your toe in, I think you'd be more than okay. It might take a bit for you to find a place like with any fandom, but it's not all intense, crazy, and young.

Thank you for the kind words. :)

I find it particularly funny that my secret should have been posted on the day their new single came out (and god, I so don't know what to think about that song...).

I guess you're right, I shouldn't let twitter be my sole window into the fandom; they're probably not all as crazily intense (or gullible. I can't believe how twitter implodes every time Harry and Louis glance at one another or there's a rumor about Zayn coming back... Well I guess at least that won't happen anymore now that Zayn's officially gone solo).

The fandom's inability to fact checking anything is infuriating, so I usually try to double and triple check for legitimate sources. Eventually, if you do decide to get involved, it will be something you will get used to.

I'm a big fan of the song myself. The song is definitely a grower.

That's very inspirational, OP. And by making this secret you already made a step akin to making a tweet, imo.

I hope this thread washes up some fans for you to talk to!

Well thank you! I'm so happy to have received so many kind comments. I really thought such a secret would only bring out the trolls. And yes, posting this secret definitely was a first step. I deleted it from imgur twice before daring to post the link to fandom!secrets, but felt such a wave of relief when I did because at least I was doing something about it.

Good that you went through with it :D

Oh yeah, maybe there's another anon meme or kink meme for 1D?

I don't know anything about the fandom for this band. However, if it does turn out to be one of those crazy weird fandoms, then maybe you could focus your energy in a different way - find some friends in other fandoms or IRL who are worth keeping, or at least worth spending time with in a positive way. I hope that doesn't sound trite - I know that isn't always easy - but it's worth thinking about!

Also, I think you're cool! *offers a hug*

*hugs back* Thank you for the compliment!

Also, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply I'm all alone in real life. I've got friends (although mostly online because they all moved away), adorable colleagues and a boyfriend. It's just that I can't share this particular passion with any of them (the only person who really knows about it is my boyfriend and while he's mostly trying to be supportive, he clearly doesn't understand or like it and the disdain/resentment is starting to bubble up...), and that breaks my heart because those four very silly boys make me giddy with happiness and I'd just like to share that with someone, you know?

Oh wow, I feel really dumb now.

I guess it's because we often see secrets like this from people who are having trouble connecting to others in general.

I'm so sorry for jumping to conclusions. :(

There's absolutely nothing to be sorry about. I'm pretty sure most people must have assumed that, especially since I did write "lonely" in huge. And it's not like you'd made fun of me, either.

:)

I hope you find some people to have fun with in your new fandom!

because you're 34 and the average age of 1D fans is around 14?

Not a 1D fan but I understand this feeling. I feel like I can't connect to people in fandom anymore, not on the level I used to when everything was new and fun and crazy and even though shitty stuff sometimes happened, there was always someone with whom to see it through.

Though once in a blue moon, I might comment on a tumblr/DW post of someone in the fandom (or vice versa) or get the remnants of the "old gang" together for a few online games, it's either not the same or it rarely lasts.

I don't want to spend the majority of my time in a forum where the average fandom age is 14. I'm not against visiting, but I'm definitely not in high school anymore, you know?

Thanks for the comment!

And I totally agree with you. My fandom days were 15 years ago (Harry Potter, those were the days...), and while back then I made some dear friends I still have today, just by writing fanfiction and being bold enough to start a conversation with anyone... I just don't know how to do that anymore. It doesn't come naturally, especially because liking 1D when you're over 18 is not something most people brag about.

I'm thinking about creating an AO3 account and commenting on the fics I like, maybe see if I can chat up some more mature fans from there.

I can relate to the age problem, I'm 33 and none of my rl friends share my weird love for this band, most don't even know. But I've met some cool people in this fandom who are not 14 and/or completely deranged. I'd had a Twitter account for years which I never used, but I started using it because of them, and it's FUN, just try it! No-one will know who you are anyway. Also, there are accounts for "older" fans like @1DAdultFan for example, you're definitely not alone.
On a positive note, they've grown up into such gorgeous young men, now I don't feel weird anymore for finding them hella attractive, as opposed to 5 years ago when they still were babies, haha.
AND THEIR NEW SINGLE KILLS IT!

You have no idea how happy your comment's just made me. ^_^

I guess I'll have to bite the bullet and just start looking out there for the non-deranged non-teenage fans. Thanks for the link to the twitter account.

And this so much about how gorgeous they are now. I feel like a creep whenever I see one of their old videos though because ohmygod they were babies</>, no wonder I didn't pay attention to them back then.

And yeah, I thought it quite fitting that their new single should come out on the day my secret got posted, although waking up to find the latter and a few minutes later having Liam's tweet pop up was a bit much for one morning, lol. Honestly didn't quite know what to think about the single at first, I like it better when their songs are mostly voices instead of complicated music (god I'm crap at explaining this) but of course after putting it on repeat half of the day it's grown on me. Still, I'll be curious to see if the entire album sounds that way, didn't expect them to evolve that way.

I'll stop rambling now. But thanks for your comment!

Aaaaand sorry for the format fail.

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